Hero's Formula
by Pi-dantic
Summary: Coauthored by moosesmittens on Ao3. Ford stumbles into the Nightmare Realm 10 years before his brother can save him, and falls into the hands of his worst enemy. (Loosely based on the Feral Ford AU by pinesinthewoods.) Warnings: noncon/dubcon, humiliation, mind games, torture, dehumanization, smut (lemon), violence, swearing, an unhealthy relationship, mental trauma, ableism.
1. Scalene the Rift

_Ford stumbles across the last beings in the universe he wants to see._

 _Chapter Warnings: near death experiences, violence, threats of torture and murder, referenced past trauma, swearing._

* * *

Ford's been travelling for what seems like miles… It's hard to tell anymore, considering this universe measures things quite differently. The sand he walks on is heavy, clinging to his boots and weighing him down. An eerie red glow encompasses the land, streaks of colour spatter the sky in a bizarre kaleidoscope.

After over twenty years in this hellscape, Ford's frankly a little sick of it all. He adjusts his scarf more tightly around his face, affixing his goggles to protect against the lash of the sand, whipped up by the wind.

It isn't long until he stumbles into a town, exhausted and hungry. He tips his canteen upside down to suck out the last remaining drops of water. He needs more… He may need to steal some, considering he has little to no credits left….

He sighs, slumping down onto the side of a nearby statue. He notes the familiar triangle shape with distaste, but decides it's not worth the energy to get annoyed.

It hasn't been long since Pyronica convinced Kryptos to go exploring with her, but all he wants to do is turn around and head back home.

"Hey, Pyronica, can we go back yet?" He sighs. "I'm kinda of not in the mood right now. Plus, I think Hectorgon said he wanted to stop by and share some drinks with us...?"

"Ah, c'mon, Kryp! There's bound to be some things to scavenge for Bill around here!" Pyronica lightly punches the diamond on one of his sides.

Kryptos stumbles several feet, wincing and rubbing his side, but gives a small laugh anyway. He can't say no to Pyronica; she's just too _enthusiastic_ about everything!

Pyronica's attention is caught by the figure slumping on the golden statue. Bill has few rules, but a big one is that no one touches his statues, let alone sits on them!

"Hey! Look over there! Look at that bozo!" She nudges Kryptos excitedly.

Kryptos directs his gaze to the strange little being draped across one of Bill's statutes.

"Oh god...what a fucking dumbass..." he mutters. The last person who did that got vaporized and had their particles used to flavor Bill's infamous Time Margaritas.

Ford raises his head, a haze over his vision. Sleep slowly takes hold of him and starts to drag him down. Whoever it was… It was probably no one… Or a hallucination… It's hard to tell any more.

"Guess we'd better pick it up then. Oh, Bill's gonna love this!" Pyronica's eye gleams with excitement as she skips over the stature.

Kryptos laughs to himself. "Yeah haha...he will..."

Well, it's not what he really wants to be doing right now, but hey, maybe helping her capture whatever this is will make Bill a little happier. Kryptos can always use a little extra help keeping in the powerful but fickle triangle's good graces, especially after the last social blunder he'd had partaken in.

"HEY! YOU! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" Pyronica hollers.

Ford's eyes snap open, jolting upright.

"Wha— What… Who goes there?" He slurs, blinking rapidly. His eyes sting.

"Woah! Weird looking thing you are!" Pyronica observes loudly as they approach the creature.

"I... could say the same about you." Ford retorts wearily. This wasn't the Police or anything… No need for panic yet…

Kryptos meanders a little closer to get a good look at the foreign creature. He blinks. A lot of strange beings come and go around here, but he has yet to see something like this.

"W-what are you?" He says without thinking. As usual.

"I'm… No one…" Ford murmurs, averting his gaze. Yeah, the only human in this damn place with his face plastered all over the town.

"Ya sure don't look like no one! No one just sits on one of Bill's statues and gets away with it!" Pyronica says, motioning to the golden monument.

"You know… For a guy that hates rules, Bill sure has a lot of them." Ford replies, not missing a beat.

Kryptos laughs, in spite of himself. It's certainly not _untrue_...as he is painfully aware...

He stops short after glancing at Pyronica. He turns back to the human, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, well you're still not allowed to break them! You're coming with us...um..." Kryptos squints. "Wait...do we know you from somewhere?"

Ford hurriedly adjusts his goggles and scarf. "N-no… Not at all…" The Wanted posters pictured him about twenty years younger than he was now… Maybe it would save him.

Kryptos squints harder. Then he leans back and shrugs. Most creatures look the same after a while. Even if he did know this being from somewhere, it'd be difficult to recall exactly.

Still, the being seemed awfully suspicious...very nervous...even more than would be expected in this place, under these circumstances...

"Oooh! I think you're trying to hiiiiiide something!" Pyronica crows, leaning over him. "I think you'd better 'fess up before we take ya to Bill."

Ford's heart drops.

 _Take him to Bill_. There was something terrifyingly final about the thought.

It's not going to happen. Fuck that.

He stands up abruptly, a low snarl erupting from him. "There's no need for that." He growls, reaching into his coat for his plasma gun.

Kryptos eyes the creature's movements. His eye widens and he ducks behind the statue. He may have been a lousy criminal in his thieving days, but he knows a person about to pull a weapon when he sees one.

" _Nikki! Gun!_ " he squeaks.

Not that it mattered much to her, likely -most guns have little effect on her, and if she gets hurt, Bill can just patch her up again. Kryptos is still just a Flattie with a little extra kick, and getting healed would include getting an earful from the triangle at very, very least.

Ford whips out the gun, aiming the crosshairs at both of them, darting it erratically from side to side.

"Leave me alone!" He hisses, the gun emitting a thin _vweeen_ sound.

* * *

Hectorgon grumbles, running his tie through his fingers, then smoothing it out again. He can't believe they fucking _left_ him, how just...just horrifically _rude_...

He grouses as he hovers, muttering about his colleagues under his breath. Honestly, he'd rather be drinking in their house, giggling with Pyronica and playfully insulting Kryptos, instead of wandering the wastes of Flatland...there were times it could strike just the wrong kind of chord and he would be back in his room, drinking alone, a little too fast to enjoy it.

Still, he doesn't like to be cut out of things, especially activities Pyronica has dreamed up. And really, her and Kryptos doing something of this sort _without him_? The very nerve.

He sees the two the moment he enters town, and rushes over to them, a scathing remark on the tip of his tongue. He doesn't expect Kryptos to be yelling the word "gun", and immediately his long-forgotten but nonetheless deeply-rooted lawbreaking instincts kick in. He dashes behind a building, trying to plot out either the optimal escape route, or the optimal manner in which to get the drop on their assailant.

Kryptos, meanwhile, is not of much use (but has he ever really been?), cowering behind the statue, unsure of if he can contribute at all to what certainly has become a mission, or even potentially survive it. Still, as terrified - frozen stiff in place really - he is, he knows failing a task such as this would be even less in the interest of survival than taking an energy bolt.

He peeks out from behind the statue base at the aggressor.

Ford is frantically pointing the gun back and forth, his exhaustion overridden by a burst of adrenaline.

"I'm warning you!" He growls.

Pyronica eyes the gun nervously. It doesn't look like a gun she's dealt with before.

"Woah, relax! We're not gonna hurt you or anything!" She says, putting her hands up.

"I don't care! I'm not going to Bill!" Ford snaps, his scarf falling further down his face.

Pyronica tilts her head to the side. "Waaaait a minute…! I know who you are! You're that …. weird creature that Bill's been after! Yeah! That's you, right?"

"N-No! I'm No One, okay? No One! Now unless you want me to blow your head off, I suggest you go away! You and your little friend!" Ford's voice cracks, panic taking hold.

Hectorgon weaves in and out of the alleyways between buildings, making his way quietly around to behind the being with the gun. He draws his switchblade and opens it with a soft _click._ The statue is, unfortunately, more in the middle of the plaza and therefore will require Hector to make quite a run to the center in order to jump the creature. Damn Bill, damn him and his fucking enormous ego and fucking complete disregard for building places with good cover in mind...he needs a distraction...

He spies Kryptos, hiding behind a statue. Good. Good man. Maybe some of the others would find it weak, but to Hectorgon it's just playing it smart. Looks like Kryptos learned something over the years after all...

He motions, subtly, trying to get Kryptos' attention. It takes several agonizing seconds, but Kryptos finally notices him.

Kryptos' eye widens. He mouths something along the lines of _how are you here?_

Hector answers that with a rude gesture.

Kryptos rolls his eye.

Hectorgon makes a motion Kryptos would recognize as cutting someone and motions to the being holding a gun on them. Kryptos gives a little nod. They've worked together long enough to know what the other is approximately thinking.

Kryptos scans the ground, likely for something to throw. Hectorgon readies himself to make a break for the creature.

Kryptos' search becomes frantically. Perhaps he can't find anything. Hector tenses. If Kryptos can't find anything, he'll just have to make a break for it anyway-

Kryptos begins hovering and suddenly darts in the opposite direction as Hector's hiding spot.

That isn't anywhere _near_ an approximation of what Hectorgon was thinking. He curses and rushes the being, praying to whatever gods Bill didn't murder that Kryptos doesn't get himself shot full of holes in the next few seconds. The resurrection will certainly be worse than the death.

Ford startles, firing off the gun into the statue. It burns a hole right through the statue's eye.

Pyronica yelps, diving for cover behind the statue, peering cautiously at the creature. She sees Hectorgon and instantly feels relieved. Trust Hector to come at just the right time… Makes her feel a little bad for ditching him though…

Ford doesn't have much time to register what's happening before he feels the sting of metal against his neck.

Ice runs down his spine, his blood chills.

Someone had got the jump on him.

Hectorgon makes sure his hold is firm, not that it's difficult, seeing as the creature is so small and frail. It's a meat-thing, and Hector can tell without even knowing anything about it by the internal structures sticking out from the flesh and the tremor in its body that the creature is weak from hunger and fatigue, and likely whatever the primitive thing has in the way of a physical system of self-preservation. It's a state he certainly recognizes himself. Being on the run isn't all it's cracked up to be.

"Don't move," he hisses. "Or I'll rend you in two."

Ford freezes, letting the gun clatter from his hands.

Hectorgon immediately begins searching the creature for more weapons. He finds many things in the being's pockets - a couple of lovely bound books, bags of powders and herbs, currency of all sorts, vials of things with labels in a language he's not familiar with, a tiny box of fluxing light, no less than 5 puzzle games, a pocket entirely filled with multicolored string, pellets that are likely compact sustenance, tools, unidentifiable gadgets and gizmos - and alongside them he finds several weapons. He pulls out one knife, then another, and another...

Hectorgon gives a little grunt that's some cross between incredulity and admiration. He remembers a time when he was this well-armed, and far more times he wished he was.

"What's all this then? Planning on taking out a small army all on your own?" His tone approaches playful; It's hard not to like someone who's pockets house both pretty books and a small arsenal.

"Don't touch those!" Ford snaps.

Hectorgon merely chuckles in response. He turns his gaze back to Kryptos. "Are you alright?"

Kryptos gives another little nod, shaken but seemingly unharmed. "I'm ok, Hector!"

Hectorgon grunts in acknowledgement, then turns to Pyronica. "Are you alright, Niki?"

Pyronica stands up and dusts herself off. "I'm fine, Hector. Thanks for the backup!" She saunters over to their captive, observing him with a narrowed eye. She crosses her arms.

Hector snorts. "Yes. A good thing I decided to pursue you troublesome pair, even when you decided to leave without me."

Kryptos looks ashamed at that. Some part of Hector feels bad for including him in his accusation. After all, it was hardly out of spite in the first place, and Kryptos likely had little say in the matter, seeing how Pyronica is. No one can really resist her persuasion. Still, perhaps he should learn to be more assertive...

Assertive...Hectorgon suddenly thinks upon what had happened mere minutes before, Kryptos using himself as a distraction. Just because it worked doesn't mean it was any degree of a sound gambit. Anything less than absurd idiocy, really. Hectorgon is divided once again, this time between whether he should praise Kryptos or rage at him.

Before any of these thoughts can be completed, Pyronica is chattering about the creature again.

"Turns out this is the one Bill's wanted for ages."

She quickly runs over to the nearby wall and tears off the wanted poster.

Pyronica holds it up next to the creature's face, yanking off his goggles. He winces at the glare of the red sky.

"See?"

Ford tries to duck his head but finds Pyronica's claws digging into his chin. He curls his lips into a low snarl as she forces him to look directly at her.

Both Kryptos and he squint and look at their captive closer.

The diamond shrugs. "Eh, I don't see it."

Hectorgon murmurs in agreement. "It's not a particularly good rendition."

"Okay, so I think it's aged or something since the photo was taken but see…" Pyronica forces the human's head from side to side. Ford's snarls grow louder, teeth snapping together.

"It's got the same shape of face! It's worth a shot! Bill can always just vaporise it for being on one of his statues anyway!" She chirps, very pleased with their catch.

Ford hisses, glowering at the demon. The sting of the knife at the back of his throat is the only thing stopping him from sinking his teeth into her hands.

Kryptos squints a bit harder and shrugs again. "I dunno, Ronni. That's a pretty long shot."

" _Oh yes,_ that's _the long shot of the day..._ " Hector grumbles.

Kryptos gives him an odd look before recalling himself, replying with yet another shrug. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Yes, a statistical improbability, one I would advise you never to attempt to achieve again. Chance has no masters, Kryptos, it _will_ just as readily destroy you as serve you."

"You know, I really wish you wouldn't talk in riddles when you're telling me off. It makes you sound like a prick."

Pyronica rolls her eye, releasing the human. "Okay, okay. Could you fellas please keep the couple bickering for later. We kinda have a delivery to make." She sighs, indicating to their captive before letting the poster flutter to the floor.

Ford's head drops. They're not going to listen to him… Damn it. He eyes the knife the hexagon is holding. Maybe he could … get his hunting knife… He leans down a little, attempting to appear simply weary as he slips a hand down his boot.

Hector bristles at the comment, but says nothing. Wouldn't want to fuel any rumors. Kryptos says nothing as well, not even to deny it, which Hectorgon finds both strange and a fucking miracle.

The being shifts in Hector's arms, and concern flashes through him. Is it broken now? Or is this a ploy? He glances at Kryptos for a second, whose gaze has already settled down to where where the hand is. His reaction is all the confirmation Hectorgon needs.

He wraps his arm tightly around the creature's airway and pulls it upward. "Don't even think about it."

He reaches down and slips the knife out of the shoe. He eyes the weapon with careful appreciation. "Do you _really_ think I've never tried that trick before?" He chuckles. "Nice piece, by the way."

He slips the knife into his personal pocket dimension before driving his own blade a little bit deeper into the creature's flesh. It's difficult, seeing as he is so much stronger than the being, and isn't exactly sure how it's body works enough to safely injure it or to know how much pressure is too much, but he manages to make the point of contact only a touch stronger than before.

"Listen, since we're operating under the assumption you _are_ who Pyronica thinks you are, I may not being able to kill you. But rest assured, I can still cause you suffering, fleshling." He mutters into what he assumes, based off his encounters with similar beings, to be an audio sensor.

"WOah... Nice catch you two!" Pyronica crosses her arms, tilting her head to the side. "Guess it thought it was clever." She chuckles before leaning towards him.

"Better tread carefully, little one." She purrs, baring her fangs. "I've seen my friend work the most delightful screams out of prisoners with that blade of his."

Ford winces, gritting his teeth. Damn it.

"Tie up his appendages, Kryptos." She orders.

Kryptos gives her a look. "With _what_?"

Hectorgon scoffs. "Use your imagination."

Kryptos gives him a bit of a glare, but he sighs and looks around for something. "Hey Hector, still wearing that godawful tie?"

"Number one, it's not awful, number two, yes, but wh-"

Kryptos reaches around and yanks it off of him.

"Hey!" Hectorgon shoots him a perfectly lethal scowl. "I'm rather _fond_ of that tie, Kryptos! And I'd rather _not_ bind this mangy creature with it!"

"Relax, you'll get it back." Kryptos mutters, already absorbed in his task of immobilizing their prisoner.

"It'll be wrinkled! And covered in dirt!"

"I'll wash it."

"Don't you even _think_ about it! Or have you forgotten the _last_ time you attempted such a task?"

"...You're still mad about that?"

" _Of course_ I am!"

"That was like 900 billion years ago!"

" _That was my favorite tie!_ "

Pyronica sighs, watching the two bicker. "We're kinda on a schedule, guys..." She mutters, crossing her arms.

Ford glowers over his shoulder at the comment. He's not _mangy_! Maybe he could use a shower… but geez!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Kryptos grumbles, finishing tying. "Isn't nagging usually Hector's job?"

"One more smart remark out of you, Kryptos, and I _swear..._ "

Kryptos snorts. He ties off the last knot, giving it a little tug. "There. Nice and secure. Can we go deliver it to Bill, now?"

Hectorgon glances at the knots and moans. "That tie is ruined."

Kryptos groans. "We'll get you a new one, geeze...It wasn't like the best one you ever owned!"

"Yes. You ruined that one too."

"oh my gods..."

"Sweet! Okay! Let's go then!" Pyronica perks up remarkably fast, giving their prisoner a scruff of the hair.

Ford growls, glowering at her. He tests his bonds. Despite the flimsy material, it holds fast. His shoulders slump in defeat. There's no way out of this and he's almost too exhausted to fight back.

Pyronica grins, licking her lips, before turning to Hector. "You okay teleporting with the creature, Hec? We can't afford him getting left behind."

Hectorgon scoffs. "So you care if the _creature_ is left behind..."

" _Hector_..." Kryptos says, his voice almost pleading.

Hectorgon grumbles. "Fine. I'll do it."

And with a little blink of red light, they vanish without trace.


	2. Angle of Depression

_Ford reunites with his former friend and muse. B)_

 _Warnings: swearing, treating humans like animals/pets, referenced past abuse and trauma, people having emotional breakdowns, sadism. I think that's everything..._

* * *

 _[30/04/2016 2:34:26 pm] moose: (( TODAY ON: PYRONICA PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME_

* * *

Ford winces as a brilliant bright light blinds him for a moment. He hits the ground hard, his head spinning as a wave of nausea washes over him. He coughs, slowly getting to his feet.

He almost falls back down again, staggering back and gasping as he sees tapestries of Bill plastered across the wall. It's like being in his old office, a lifetime ago…

"No… Oh god…" He mutters, bloodshot eyes darting around the room. He scrunches his bound hands into fists.

Pyronica rolls her eye. "Fragile little thing, isn't it?" She remarks.

Hectorgon snorts in agreement. Kryptos shrugs. Teleporting threw him for a loop the first time he did it. And Bill's decorating sense _is_ pretty atrocious.

She saunters forward through the darkened mansion, flicking her wrist to light it up with tiny flickering flames, suspended in midair.

"Bill!" She calls out, her voice reverberating around the gigantic hallways. "Honey! We're home! And we got something for ya!"

Bill in the meanwhile, is restless, as he often is. He's draped across a gaudily colored, gold-threaded couch, watching his big-screen Time Bubble, shoving Time Popcorn into his mouth.

He flips the channel sometimes, going back and forth between a certain Pines twin, hard at work on his forbidden science machine, and the season 2 finale of Ducktective. Having access to infinite channels across infinite dimensions and timelines, he gets it aired a little early than his patron version of Gravity Falls. Not that it matters much, but the vaguest wisp of smug superiority delights him a little.

"Jesus, _a secret twin_? really? that's the worst plot twist I've ever witnessed in my entire life! And that's a long time, mind you!" he throws some Time Kernels at the bubble. "You hear that you stupid duck? One trillion years! The _worst_!"

He flips the channel back to Stanley Pines, who's busy toggling some switches and letting loose some swears he would never dream of exposing his niece and nephew to, maybe at any age. Bill laughs. "Ah parallels! They're a helluva thing! The universe has one love, and it's cruel, cruel irony!"

Stan pounds on the control panel, his anger morphing in some other emotion entirely. His shoulders slump and he buries his face in his hands.

Bill sits up, chortling to himself. He should find this irritating maybe, but he only finds it amusing. Besides, Bill knows he'll go through with it. It's a human thing. A Pines thing. And even if he doesn't, Bill could probably trick someone else into working on it. It would take a bit longer, but what's another few years in the face of an eternal dictatorship?

Of course, should that happen, the task of locating a certain six-fingered nerd might take a bit longer as well. The thought makes Bill dig his fingers into the couch fabric, twisting it.

He relaxes. Oh well. He'll have his way eventually. He always does...

"OI BILL!" Pyronica hollers. She goes still for a moment. Her tapered ears, hidden under her horns, prick up at the faint sound of that familiar voice.

"He's in the Viewing Chamber." She announces. Of course he is. He spends most of his time there nowadays, obsessed with the little lives he watched. She didn't understand, but she guesses she just isn't clever enough to understand. She turns on her heel and begins to walk towards the winding stairs at the end of the hall, beckoning the others to follow her.

Ford tries to steady his heartbeat… Focus on his intellect, breathe…. Oh god they're taking him to _Bill_ who knows what that monster has planned for him… It's been over twenty years since he had last seen the creature, since he had spat in the face of their deal. But it had haunted him since. That eye still followed him, no matter where Ford had tried to go.

 _Beware the beast with just one eye…_

He had gone through many aliases, moving from one disguise to the next. Relying on the kindness of strangers and a shady dealing in relics he found or stole. Always staying one step ahead of Bill. Always on his guard…

How had this happened? How had he fallen like this, so easily? That now he was surrounded by those hideous tapestries. The expansive hallway makes him feel like a mouse in a maze. The glow of the pink creature's flames cast long shadows, flickering ominously. Fear grips his heart and twists it in a vice-like grip. He looks around, wide-eyed, to his captors, straining against the makeshift bonds.

He didn't want to go.

He stubbornly digs his heels into the ground, crossing his arms and refusing to move.

Pyronica's progress, marked by the clack of her heels on the stone floor, pauses. Silence drops like a stone as she turns to notice their captive's defiance.

"Oh. MY. GOSH!" She squeals. "LOOK AT IT, GUYS! THAT IS SO CUTE ! DOES SOMEONE HAVE A IMAGE SAVER OR SOMETHING! LOOK AT IT'S LITTLE FACE !" She all but pounces onto the human, seizing him by the shoulders.

"I could just EAT YA RIGHT UP! YES I COULD! LOOK GUYS IT'S TRYING TO DEFY US! AHAHAH! ADORABLE! I LOVE IT!" She cackles, pinching the creature's cheeks.

"Wha— _Excuse me_?" Ford splutters, barely able to process what the hell was happening right now.

"You know what, cutie? I'm gonna juuuust…" She leans down and scoops the grizzled man into a bridal carry, cradling him gently in her flickering flames. "There we go! Now you can be nice and close to your Auntie Ronnie and not play any more games!" She croons, tickling the human under the cheek and stroking it's hair.

She grins at the other two. "Oh boy I really hope Bill lets us keep it!"

Kryptos laughs. "Yeah, it is pretty cute I guess."

Hectorgon only snorts. Cute or not, if Bill wants it as badly as Hectorgon thinks he does, the creature is nothing but trouble. "Cute" or not, fucking with the thing is hardly worth such a risk.

Bill, meanwhile, is somewhat vaguely aware of his returning henchdemons, but his focus is completely absorbed by what he's viewing, so whatever level of awareness of this event resides in his mind he choses to brush aside.

He stares transfixed at the screen, watching the old man devolve into a truly impressive breakdown. Thinking about the dysfunctional way Stan Pines' brain chose to construct its identity, all the self-hating and self-destruction, all completely irrational, wasteful, and pointless. All for a long dead man who reached levels of selfishness Bill found himself impressed by and a brother who cares more about science projects and foolish heroics and _Bill Cipher_ than his twin. It's like watching a bird ram itself into a glass cage repeatedly in some sort of desperate attempt to get free. Bill stuffs his eye full of Time Popcorn, giggling in between bites.

Pyronica follows the sound of Bill's giggles, slowly running her claws through the human's greying hair.

Ford shudders, struggling to get free.

"Ah ah, no need to get excited, pet." The demoness purrs, tightening her grip and holding the tiny human closer to her chest.

She leads the group to an ornate door, laden with gold runes. She tentatively knocks on the door.

"Uh… Boss? We have something for you!"

Bill doesn't even take his eye off of the Time Bubble. "I'm a little _busy_ right now, Roni!" he snaps. "If Keyhole got his head stuck in Teeth's...teeth, _again_ , tell him he's just gonna have to suck it up until I'm done watching this!" Bill's giggles are beginning to dissolve into cackling. "Oh my god, I think he's _crying_ now!" He squints. "Holy shit he's _is_ haha! Good fuck, he's practically bawling! Classic!" His popcorn clutched in his hands, but completely abandoned otherwise. He doesn't want to miss a moment of this.

Ford's heart seizes at the sound of Bill's gleeful laughter, a constricting band tightens around his chest and he forgets how to breathe for a moment.

Pyronica's expression sours, her eye narrows. "I… I get that boss, but you're going to want to see this. It's something you've been looking for… for a really long time."

Stan screams and throws a mug into the wall. It shatters into hundreds of little pieces and Stan curses at it. Bill laughs and laughs. He wipes away some tears, trying to compose himself. It sounds like Pyronica has something at least mildly interesting to bring to his attention, so he might as well hear her out. He can watch Stan Pines suffer any time, any place...quite literally, in all honesty!

"Alright, alright, come in, come in! But this better be good, Niki!" He sighs, opening the doors with his mind. He flips the channel back to Ducktective once Stan falls to his knees in silence. Silence just isn't as much fun. Maybe he'll check in on the idiot later.

Pyronica brightens at that, opening the door.

Ford writhes madly in a panic, attempting to wiggle out of her arms.

"Hey! _Settle down_!" She chides, swatting him on the head. He throws her a glare.

The demoness steps into the room, beaming. "Got you a present, baby!" She crows, grabbing the human under his appendages and lifting him up towards Bill. It's reminiscent of an excited little girl showing off her new puppy.

Bill stuffs his face with one last handful of popcorn as he waits for the duck to utter a classic line to his twin. He keeps watching until the scene changes to some much less interesting "romantic" drama with the duck's human partner (humans and their predictable priorities; even in a story about talking ducks created in a world where that's not a common occurrence, they'd rather think about coupling and copulation!), and lets his focus break with the bubble for a few moments. He turns his gaze to Pyronica and allows it to meander on up to whatever she's holding. "Alrighty then what is it you wanna-"

He stops, blinking motionlessly.

One part of him is angry at the lack of warning and preparation for this meeting. He still has _class_ you know! The other is filled to the brim with an ecstatic thrill and it's consuming the frustrated part of him by the second.

He tosses the popcorn behind him, levitating off the couch. He throws his arms behind his back. "Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, _well_! Look what the interdimensional flame demon dragged in! _Stanford Filbrick Pines_ , boy has it been a while! Well, for you anyway, haha!"

Stanford wills himself to look the demigod in the eye. The same eye that plagued every waking and sleeping moment. Watched from above and had made him feel like an ant trying to hide from a child with a magnifying glass. He slowly and wearily lifts his head. It feels heavy and sluggish. He can feel a migraine starting to throb behind his eye.

"Bill Cipher." He hisses between gritted teeth.

Pyronica looks eagerly from one to the other, excited at the response her prize has evoked.

There was a time that name was sung like the sweetest hymn rather than spat out like venom. Bill almost misses it, but the snarling tone the man uses is in some ways just as melodious.

Bill looks the human up and down. "Man, you're a mess! Even more so than I left you, ha! And frankly that's saying something!" He glances at Pyronica. "You didn't chew him up too much before bringing him in, did you Roni?"

Pyronica gasps. "I would _never_ , baby!" She coos. "It just put up a bit of a fight on the way, but it's fine! We took good care of you, didn't we pet?" She giggles, tickling under the human's chin.

"Unhand me at once! I'll tear you to pieces!" Ford roars, arms flailing in an attempt to smack the creature's claws away. Pyronica chuckles at that. "Adorable! So this was the one you were looking for right? The one on the posters, yeah? I told the guys it was, but they _totally_ wouldn't listen!" She announces, throwing the others a sly glance before lowering the human to the ground.

Bill laughs. "He sure is!" He throws his arm around the human, squishing him close. He summons a poster and holds it up for comparison. He clucks his tongue. "Not the best likeness, I'll admit! But it got the job done, I suppose!" The poster vanishes in a burst of blue flames.

Ford bristles at the treatment, his head darts around the room, his eyes wild. Instinct pounds through him to run. To fight and claw and chew his way out of this room. No matter what it takes. His heart drums in his ears, panic seizes his chest.

He bunches his fists, his fingernails cut into his palms. He couldn't care less what sort of a state he's in. He survived. He had gotten this far. More than twenty years on the run. Or was it thirty? It was hard to tell any more.

"You … You sure put a lot of effort into finding me, Cipher." He growls, lip curling to bare his teeth. "Didn't… know you missed me so much."

Pyronica snorts before quickly looking away and attempting to mask it with a mild coughing fit.

He ruffles Ford's hair. "Aw, of course I missed you! After all, you are my _favorite_ pet!"

Ford's eyes narrow at that, stiffening at Bill's touch.

"I'm not your pet!" He growls, shaking his head to get Bill's spindly fingers out of his hair.

Bill laughs. "Oh, c'mon, there's no sense in denying it, Fordsy!" He gives his head a little pat.

"OOOH! So does that mean we get to keep him?" Pyronica just about bounces up and down with excitement.

"Because, like, he was sitting on one of your statues so we thought you might want to disintegrate him…?"

Bill shrugs, chortling. "Ah, one of those silly old tchotchkes?" He giggles. "I mean it was solid gold, but maybe the real treasure is the sick, twisted relationship you and I have until the end of time, Sixer!" He pinches the human's cheek.

Kryptos stares, fascinated. He's never seen Bill faun over anything quite this much before besides Pyronica. The human (that's what Bill called it, right?) must be something pretty special.

Hectorgon watches this interaction with mild interest. He notes Bill's possessiveness towards the creature and files it immediately under _not to be fucked with_ in his mind. Nothing but trouble, indeed.

Ford snarls, swinging his head to the side and snapping his teeth down onto Bill's fingers.

"It's _feral!_ " Pyronica squeals, swatting the human hard on the head. "Let him go! Bad Human! Bad!"

Bill yelps, yanking his hand away. He scowls, then chuckles. "Aw, he's a cranky, unruly little pet, isn't he?"

He snaps his fingers, summoning a collar around the human's neck. It locks with a little _click_. A chain spawns from the center and winds itself into Bill's hand. "That's alright! A little training and he'll be his sweet, worshipful little domesticated self again in no time!"

Ford bristles, uttering a deep, low snarl at the clink of the collar around his neck.

"You… You piece of… You vile, evil, insane THING!" The man is trembling, mostly from rage but exhaustion persisting.

"I have spent… YEARS running from you… You think I'm just going to submit to you? Huh? You ruined my life!"

Bill laughs at the human's raging. "Oh don't be so dramatic, Fordsy! If anything, I made your life more interesting! You really oughta be thanking me!"

" _Thanking_ you? _THANKING_ YOU? " Ford splutters, stumbling forward. "How could you… Why would I…"

"Wow! It really needs to learn some manners!" Pyronica observes, relinquishing her grip on the human.

Bill giggles. "All in due time, Nikki! All in due time..." He give the chain a little tug. "I think first I'm gonna show him off to the rest of the gang!" he motions to the other demons. "You've met Pyronica, Hectorgon! Heh, Kryptos. But I have so many other pals I've yet to introduce ya to!"

"OH MY GOSH _YES_!" Pyronica yells. "They'll LOVE IT!"

Bill gives the chain a sharp yank. "C'mon,Fordsy! You and I have 20 years or so worth of catching up to do! I'm thinking we should start with a rad party and go from there!"

Ford staggers, falling to his knees. He grimaces, baring his teeth.

"Seriously? You brought me here to have a _party_?" He growls.

"PARTYYYYY!" Pyronica screams, grabbing Kryptos and swinging him around.

Bill shrugs. "yeah sure! Why not?"

Kryptos squeaks. " _Pyronica, put me down!_ "

"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!" She chants as she continues to swing the little diamond around.

Ford slowly gets back to his feet, fists bunched on either side. "I… I can't believe this! I don't want to party! I want to go home!"

Kryptos continues to shrill for Pyronica to let him go. Hectorgon laughs to himself softly. He's watching the triangle and his newfound pet out of the corner of his eye. This is a bit of a game-changer, and he knows they will have to tread carefully until how the creature fits into the group order can be determined.

Bill meantime, is all but ignoring his gang members. He laughs at Ford's protests. "Well we all can't get what we want! Especially if you don't happen to be yours truly! And besides..." He pulls Ford uncomfortably close to him. He grabs his jaw, forcing him to look the dream demon in the eye. " _...this is your home now, Sixer_ "

Ford's blood turns to ice as he cringes away from the yellow glare, straining to free himself from Bill's grip.

"Never! NEVER!" He cries out, squeezing his eyes shut.

Pyronica finally lets Kryptos go, flinging him over to Hector. "Oh boy! We're gonna need to gather all the guys!"

Bill reels Ford in all the way, wrapping his arm around him and giving him a sharp squeeze. "Oh come on, I've got a pretty sweet set up here! Don't knock it 'till you've tried it!" His grip tightens. "And besides, isn't this what you wanted? 'Until the End of Time', wasn't that what you said? Your words pal, not mine!"

Hectorgon isn't prepared to bear the weight of someone equal to his mass and size, and he and Kryptos hit the ground with a duet of yelps and a singular _thud_.

Kryptos clings to him, until he realizes they've hit the floor and it dawns on him exactly what he's doing. He wants to let go, but he's too mortified. They both stare at each other for moment. It's only a second or so but it seems to go on for an eternity.

Hectorgon gives him a sharp shove. "Get off me." he snarls, brushing himself off.

Kryptos hastily scrambles away. "yeahsuresorry" he mutters, wringing his hands.

Ford curls his lip, tilting his head away. He stifles a yelp at the sudden squeeze.

"This isn't what I meant... This isn't what I wanted..."

Bill laughs again. "Of course it was, Fordsy! You just didn't know it yet!" He chortles. "But you _will_!~"

Ford spits on the ground in defiance, all his survival instincts scream at him to get out of here. But there didn't even seem to be a way out… How could he possibly escape Bill?

But he's not like who he was in the Third Dimension anymore… Maybe that demoness was right. Maybe he had gone feral. But it had been the only thing keeping him alive. Keeping him more or less _sane_.

Bill laughs, giving the chain another sharp yank. "Aw, he's not housebroken, oh well, we'll get him there, haha!"

Ford snaps his teeth together as he teeters forward. He growls, grabbing the chain with his hands and yanking it back. His eyes are dark. Sweat drips down his face, mingling with the dirt and dust caked on there.

Bill snaps his fingers, chaining the rest of Ford's limbs. "Whoa, feisty little beast, _arencha_?"

Ford thrashes against the chains, pulling back in a panic as he suddenly finds himself constricted. He grits his teeth, grunting as he tugs at his shackles. "This is ridiculous!" He hisses. "Ridiculous! Unreasonable!" His bloodshot eyes are wide, the whites flashing as his gaze darts madly around the room, looking for an escape.

Bill clucks his tongue. "the only one being 'unreasonable' around here is you, Fordsy! Why don't you be a good little pet and do what I say! Things will go a lot easier for both of us!~"

Ford pulls back even harder, digging his heels. "NO!" He roars. "LET ME GO!" The chains clink as he frantically attempts to free himself.

Bill gives one final tug, hard enough to pull the human up off his feet. "Heheh, tough guy, are yah now?"

Ford's feet dangle helplessly as he's lifted into the air. The lack of gravity sends another wave of fear through him, wide eyes looking down at the floor.

"Let.. Let ME GO! LET ME GO YOU FIEND! I'LL NOT SERVE YOU AGAIN!"

Bill giggles. "Oh I think you will, Fordsy, I think you _will_..." he gives one hell of a smirk for a creature with no face to speak of.

"Hey, boss?" Pyronica pipes up. "Should we go get the others?"

Bill sighs, motioning idly. "Sure, sure, _go right on ahead_ , Niki..." Teeth peek out from his eye.

"Lil' ol' Sixer and I have a _llooot_ of catching up to do in the meantime..."


	3. A Shocking Development

_Ford and Bill have a chat._

 _Chapter Warnings: swearing, torture, humiliation, ableist comments, treating humans like pets/animals, nsfw-ish interaction, innuendos._

* * *

Ford kicks out, suspended in the air, growling and writhing uselessly. He is in a full blown panic now, his breath coming out in short, heaving gasps.

Pyronica 'winks' at Bill, before looping her arms around Kryptos and Hector and leading them out of the room.

"Come on, pals! Let's go start this party!"

Kryptos and Hectorogon glance at each other before quickly looking away, Hector with a scowl on his face, Kryptos with a sheepish look on his. They let Pyronica lead them away without protest.

Bill eyes them suspiciously before turning back to his new pet. he's still wriggling like a worm on a hook, making Bill roll his eye. "Ease up there, Sixer, you've got nowhere to go and you're never gonna break out of those chains without my say so! You might as well rest your feeble little body and start making yourself comfy! You're gonna be here a while!"

Ford merely struggles harder, grunting and snarling and gnashing his teeth. " _LET ME GO_ , BILL!"

Bill sighs. "Looks like we've got a long way to go with you, huh?"

He snaps his fingers. The collar lights up a bright blue. "I'm gonna give ya one more chance to calm the fuck down before I introduce you to plan B! And Let me tell yah, plan B's quite a _shocker_ , if yah get my drift!"

Ford gulps, the collar heating up on his skin. He throws Bill a pleading glance but forces himself to stop struggling. He heaves a single sobbing breath, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Bill chuckles. "Yeah, that's it...that's a good boy..." he lets his hand fall to his side. The glow on the collar ebbs away. "You're not gonna get anywhere with an attitude like that, Fordsy! Might as well do as you're told!" He giggles. "And who knows? You might even grow to _like_ this sort of thing! Heaven knows you've entertained the thought before, haha..."

Ford grits his teeth, fury rising hot and heavy.

He spits into Bill's eye.

Bill shrieks. He claws at his eye, his body consumed with a red glow.

He opens his eye, fingers curling into themselves on his right hand.

The collar crackles to life, sending volts of electricity coursing through its victim.

Ford howls, spine snapping rigid as the current rips through every cell in his body.

 _It burns_!

But he doesn't beg. He doesn't plead for mercy. He rides it out, just like he always has. Endured.

Bill giggles. He waits as long as he feels he can get away with before cutting the circuit.

"You need to learn to quit while you're ahead, Fordsy! Because I can do this _alllll_ day!~" he chortles. "I'd certainly prefer you writhing in pain to you mouthing off! You gotta start thinking about whether or not all this is _worth it_ , Sixer!"

Ford slumps over, his whole body going limp as the pain fizzles away. He glares hatefully at Bill, uttering a low guttural snarl.

Bill laughs. "Still defiant, are we? Don't worry!" He cackles. "We've got all of infinity to _burn that out of you_!" He snaps his fingers, the electricity running through the human's body once again.

Ford roars, chains rattling as he falls down and thrashes madly. He hisses and growls and claws at the floor like an animal.

.

Bill brings out a watch, whistling for a bit. He finally snaps his fingers, the electricity dissipating. "Is he done?" he floats down, giving Ford a little kick.

Ford pants, gripping onto the floor. Saliva drips out of his mouth, mingled with blood. He'd bitten his own tongue. He crouches low, snapping his teeth together and glaring at Bill.

Bill sniggers. "Looks like he's still a little undercooked!" he holds up his fingers. "Ready for another round, Fordsy?"

Ford snarls, smoke curls off his skin. But the sight of Bill raising those fingers is enough to send him flinching back, cold terror flooding through him.

 _He can't fight this. And he can't run away._

He whimpers a little at the thought, bowing his head and slowly shaking it back and forth.

 _No more…_

"Good boy!" Bill is all but grinning. "Now, what are you going to do, Fordsy? Spit in my eye again? Or be a good little pet and come with me to the throne room?" He taps the pads of his middle finger and thumb together. "One of those options involves some of those human comforts I know you're so fond of, the other involves _pain_ and _lots of it_! _So what's it gonna be, Sixer_?"

Ford trembles, his whole body giving in, though his mind stays strong and wild.

He doesn't respond, his tongue feels too heavy to form the words. He merely looks up at Bill with a pleading gaze, hoping that'll be enough to appease him.

"Heh, I'll take that as you choosing the second one, I suppose!" Bill puts his hand to where his chin would be. "But I think some confirmation is in order..." He floats down and sets his feet delicately on the floor. The chain rattles in his other hand. He motions to the ground in front of his shoes. "Why don't you come over here and kneel perhaps, hrm? That'd pretty well seal the deal, haha!"

Ford feels another snarl rise up his throat, bloodshot eyes narrowing for a moment.

 _Seal the deal._

Memories flood back of him clasping hands with the demon, blue fire engulfing his hand.

He doesn't move, turning his head away. He's already on his hands and knees but makes no motion to bow.

Bill clucks his tongue. "Whatsamatter? Aw, you're not still sore about our prior arrangement are yah?" He chuckles. "That was like, what, 20 years ago? That's a long time for humans, isn't it?" he give the chain a little shake. "Look, you wanna eat, don't you? I can tell by that skeletal structure sticking indecently out of your first and second skin that you haven't been doing much of that recently! That must be unpleasant for you, right?"

Ford grimaces, his stomach rumbles at the thought of food. He has to do it. He has to play Bill's game.

It's all about survival. It always has been.

He squeezes his eyes shut, head dropped as he crawls over to Bill's feet and lowers himself to the ground in a reverent bow.

His stomach churns and his blood burns hot. Survival… This is about survival. Nothing more…

Bill giggles delightedly. " _Finally ..._ " he reaches down and pets Ford's head. "That's my good little human! That's my good boy..."

A chill runs through Ford, mixed with a curl of heat beneath his gut. He doesn't move, shaking from fatigue and fury.

Satisfied his new pet isn't planning on rebelling anymore, Bill stands up straight, pulling lightly on the chain for Ford to do the same. "Now, let's get you cleaned up! Maybe even give you a little snack?" He waves his fingers around. "I am feeling sorta _generous_..." he looks down at the human. "How about this: the treat can be whatever you want! But you gotta do a little something for me first! How's that sound?"

Ford staggers to his feet, his combat boots clunk on the floor. He eyes Bill suspiciously.

"What do you want me to do?" He croaks, throat raw from screaming.

Bill glances at his hand, the thing in the palm shifting from one type of food to the next.

"Beg for it."

Ford bristles, his eyes narrow into pinpricks of hatred.

"You..." He growls, before halting himself sharply. He's gotten this far... He needs to eat.

His shoulders slump with defeat. There's a bitter taste on his tongue.

"Please..." He utters, his voice small.

Bill chuckles. "Oh come on, you can do better than _that_!"

 _"Please_ , Bill... I beg of you..." He grits his teeth and falls onto his knees once more.

"Please... "

" _Closer_ , but not quite what i'm looking for..."

Ford crushes down the spark of anger. He crawls to Bill's feet, grovelling.

"Please... Oh please I beg of you... Oh Mighty One..." He whimpers, hating every moment.

"Please have mercy on me..."

Bill chortles with glee. " _There we go_!" he tosses the ever-morphing piece of food up and down in his hand. "Now, what will you be having this fine evening, good sir? Might I recommend the eyeball on a stick? It's a chef special!"

"Steak!" He gasps. "Cooked steak!"

Bill laughs. "Isn't that a little _boring_?" He rolls his eye, holding up his other hand. "Say no more, cooked steak it is!"

He claps his hands together and the food is gone. "Wait for iiiitttt..." He pulls one hand up rapidly, flicking his wrist. A covered platter appears. He opens the top of it to reveal a garnished dog bowl with a tenderloin in the center of it, grilled to what seems to be human preference. the bowl reads "Fordsy" on it. " _Ta-da!_ "

Ford doesn't wait for permission. He dives at the piece of meat, salivating. The chains on his wrists clink as he pins the sweet smelling, steaming food with his nails and tears into it with his teeth, wolfing it down.

He doesn't care about the warm juice dripping down his chin or the ravenous, pleased sounds that slip from his lips.

Food is food. And he earned this at a heavy price.

Bill laughs. "Slow down, Sixer! You're not getting another! Try not to cough it up!"

Ford freezes, eyes darting to his captor. He utters a low growl before tearing back into the food. He tries to chew and swallow as slowly as he can but every instinct is screaming at him to eat as fast as he can.

Bill onlooks with growing, twisted fascination. Fordsy isn't the same, not by any means. _Looks like I broke him!_ Bill chortles to himself, excitement welling up inside him.

On one hand some things that would have driven Ford crazy were having no affect on him now...possibly because he's already fucking crazy. Though humans do tend to get this way when they're starving, in Bill's experience.

And then there was the other hand, in which was held a number of new and interesting possibilities. Hunger-induced or not, something's off about his dear little Sixer, and he's not going to let the potential this change holds go to waste!

Bill giggles as Ford continues mangling his meal. "You might wanna ease up just a lil more there, Fordsy! Or has your silly, frail animal brain completely devolved on me? is that even possible?"

Ford snarls, curling his lip. He doesn't care what Bill thinks.

He wastes no time in gulping down the last few chunks of meat like a starving dog. He licks the bloody juices clean, lapping at the bowl until it's polished.

Bill is suddenly finding this growling, slobbering state of Ford's much less interesting. Half of the fun is the sadly mismatched banter between them, right?

Still, it is fun to watch him lick the bowl spotless without a stitch of shame. "Heh, you know, if you'd been like this earlier, you could have saved yourself a lot of trouble, Fordsy! A little training and I could really worked with this foaming-at-the-mouth bit you've got going on here!"

Ford licks his hands and cleans off the drying juice clinging to his skin.

"Well, Bill…" He murmurs. "To live in your hideous world… I've had to put a few things aside. It's kept me alive."

Bill smirks. "Yeah, I can see that!" he looks him up and down. "Y'know, quite frankly, I like it! That sad, naïve, nerdy, soft little guy wasn't really _you_ , y'know? Never really accessed your _full potential,_ y'know what I'm sayin'?" He holds up a little triangular frame with his fingers, peering at Ford through them. "Yeah...yeah, i like this rugged, grizzled survivor thing! You'll make a good guard dog for sure! One that can still play interdimensional chess, I hope, haha!"

"Guard dog?" Ford's eyes narrow. He sure looked the picture of one, his arms splayed over the dog bowl and his lip curled back.

Ford wonders how he should play this… If Bill thought his mind was gone, would he consider him much of a threat any more…? Would he believe him to be capable of building a weapon that would disintegrate his molecules?

The man snaps his teeth together and lunges forward with a rolling snarl.

Bill brushes him aside telekinetically with a wave of his hand. He sighs, snapping his fingers, the collar heats up again. "Are we really back to square one? I mean we were doing so _good_ , Sixer!"

Ford cringes as his skin starts to burn, ducking his head and biting his lip to stifle a yelp. Panic sprouts in his chest.

 _Oh god… Not again…_

He pauses and hurriedly folds himself over, placing his forehead on the ground.

"No…" He mutters between gritted teeth.

"Well, well, you're a quick study!" Bill laughs. "Guess you _can_ teach an old dog new tricks, eh?" He rubs his fingers together. They crackle with static, and the collar does the same. "Still though, all the submission in the world means nothing if you're just gonna do it again, Stanford! Eventually I'm gonna have no choice but to punish you!"

Bill pats a hand to his "chest". "And how do you think that makes me feel, huh? I get so _excited_ , so proud of you when you finally _figure it all out_ , but this? This makes me _sad_! Steps backwards...they really _hurt me,_ Fordsy!"

"'M sorry…" Ford yelps and rolls on his back as static crackles against his skin. He raises his chained hands to tug at the collar.

Not again… Not again… Stop fighting!

"P-Please…" He whimpers.

Bill snaps his fingers. The static dissipates.

He leans down to stroke Ford's hair. "Shhhh, shhhh, it's ok... _I forgive you_..." He grabs his chin gently. "but if you do that again, I'm gonna have no choice but to shock you! Don't put me in that position, Forsdy..."

Ford realises he's trembling again, fists clenched and baring white. The sudden softness completely throws him, barely able to process the spindly fingers combing through his matted hair.

He hasn't been comforted or stroked in almost thirty years… Not since…

Ford squeezes his eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corners.

"' _M sorry…_ " The two words crack as they whisper past his lips.

Bill runs his fingers gently alongside Ford's cheek. "Shhhhh, shhhshhshshhh, I know, I know you are...it's ok..." He summons another hand to return to petting Ford's hair. "It's all gonna be ok..." He dances his fingers lightly across Ford's scalp. "But you can't do that again, you can't...I don't want to have to do this to you, it's frustrating, it _pains_ me...but I will if I have to..."

He smoothes over the human's hair and pets it once more. "Honestly, I need you to listen to me! It'll make this all _so much easier_... I can have you at my side, it can all be how it's _supposed to be_...but none of that can happen if you keep pulling shit like that, Fordsy...you _gotta do what you're told_ , ok?"

Ford shivers at that voice. It worms its way back into his tangled mess of a mind, prying it apart.

He just nods. Can't bring himself to speak. The being, the monster that could just as easily burn him to a crisp with a single motion of those hands… Those very same hands are warm and gentle against his dirt caked skin. A part of his mind resists, screaming at him to get away. But it's smothered by a single thought.

Not again…

It feels too good… His eyes slide shut. Safety. Warmth. Something he thought he'd never have again. All those nights huddling in the nooks and crannies of crumbling alleyways, sure he'd freeze to death. The hostile gazes. Not a single kind word, a single soft touch.

How could he possibly fight this? In all his years trapped in this hellscape, it's all he's ever wanted

Ford lets out a contented grunt, sighing and allowing himself to melt into Bill's hands.

Bill gives a mouthless smile. It's meant to be warm, soft, but he can't keep the slightest trace of a smirk from it. _Too easy..._

Ford is stubborn, has a lot of rebellion in him. Always has. But even he can't deny the basest programming buried inside his own feeble animal mind. The unforgiving life that's hardened him has also made him so _soft_. He'll be eating out of Bill's palm by the time he's done with him.

Bill traces his cheek and jaw with one of his fingers. "You miss this, don't you?" he laughs softly. "You miss _me_ don't you?" He lets one of his hands wander a little further down to the man's neck, then to his chest. "You miss the way it was..."

Ford utters a small whimper. He knows it's pathetic. He knows this is what Bill wants. But maybe he wants it too…

Maybe he doesn't care anymore…

He moves closer to Bill's hands, trembling violently. He wants more of those hands on him…

Now Bill is smirking, not even bothering to disguise it.

He sees Ford's thoughts and gives a low chuckle. "Ah, how forward of you, Sixer..." he summons more hands and begins running them all over Ford's body. He focuses on places he knows are sensitive, but pointedly avoids the human's reproductive organs. "You might as well just say what I know you're thinking... Your thoughts are loud enough to be heard across several dimensions! Really quite unbecoming..."

Ford groans softly, cringing as those hands send pinpricks of pleasure through his skin and it just feels so good…

 _No._

Ford's eyes snap open, his body going rigid. What the hell was he _doing_?

He claws the ground, scrambling in a panic to get off Bill's lap.

Too close, too intimate… _TOO MUCH_

Bill bursts into a fit of laughter. "Aw, I thought you were enjoying yourself, Fordsy!"

Ford scurries away from Bill, ducking into a corner. His eyes wide and panicked.

"No!" He yells. "Stay away from me!"

Bill cackles. "You _loved it_ , don't lie!"

He can't even find it in himself to be mad. The absolute _horror_ on the man's face...horror at what he knows to be Ford's own emotions and physical reactions rather than Bill himself.

Ford grips at the wall behind him. "Get away from me! Get AWAY!" He roars, waving Bill away in a panic.

Bill takes his sweet time standing and hovering over to where Ford is. The chain is still wound up in Bill's hand. The poor idiot has absolutely nowhere to run or even hide but he's trying anyway, it's _adorable_.

He waves the hand with the chain in front of Ford, clucking his tongue. "Now, now, that's no good, being disrespectful to your master like that, Sixer! Don't forget who _owns_ you!" He chuckles. "And speaking of things I own, this entire dimension is mine! Just where are you gonna go, exactly? How are you gonna get away from me?"

Ford's hackles raise, his teeth bared. "Go away." He growls, pressing his back against the wall. His heart thuds rapidly.

"GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" The man roars, his nails raking against the walls behind him.

Bill's eye narrows. "Look, I know your mind isn't exactly all together right now, but it'd be great if you could cut the crap and stop _testing my patience_! I'm not in the mood for this kind of _bullshit_ right now!"

Ford panics, flight kicking in. He jerks to the side, eyes darting frantically for the exit. The chain catches him, the collar presses into his throat and he wheezes heavily, the force throwing him back.

Pins and needles shoot through his limbs and his knees wobble.

"I… I can't…" He whimpers, clutching at the wall to prevent himself from falling.

Bill can't help but laugh again, in spite of his simmering temper. "Wow, that was really something there, Sixer!" he guffaws. "What, did you just _forget_ the chain was there?" He snorts, reeling the leash in as he approaches the human. "if that's the case, you're in worse shape than I thought!"

Ford lifts his shackled arms to rub at his burning throat. He keeps himself firmly pressed against the wall, leaning as far away from Bill as he could.

Bill simply hovers closer and closer. "If you think you can _escape me_ , for any reason, you have _another thing coming_ , Fordsy." He hisses.

" _You're mine_ "

Ford ducks his head, looking anywhere but at the demon. His chest heaves with every panicked sobbing breath.

"No…" He whimpers.

"You can deny it all you want!" Bill snaps. "It won't change a thing..."

He grabs the human by the jaw, squeezing him maybe just a bit too tight. "You can't just close your eyes and hope it will go away, Stanford! This is your future, you better start thinking about _accepting it_!"

Ford snarls, his eyes snapping wide open. He pulls his head upwards in an attempt to free himself, clamping his teeth together.

Then he throws his head to the side and sinks his teeth into Bill's hand.

Bill shrieks. He wrenches his hand out of Ford's jaws and backhands him, _hard_. He hisses something in some demon tongue and snaps his fingers, firing up the collar. He turns it to as high a power it can go without turning the human into a smoldering crater. " _Looks like you still have to learn some manners, Fordsy_ "

Ford's body goes rigid as the electricity almost burns out every cell in his body. He screams in agony, clawing at the collar before falling down heavily onto the ground.

Bill is nearly furious enough to let the electrical current stay complete until the little beast's heart gives out...but he's just a might too lazy to go about reviving him. His anger hasn't dissipated by any means, but it's subsided enough for his mind to clear a little. Bill sighs, snapping his fingers, breaking the circuit. "Can we move on now? I mean, insane or not, the solution to your problems should be _obvious_ at this point, Sixer!"

Ford lets out a pained groan, the heavy stench of burning flesh in his flared nostrils. He tries to pull himself back to his feet, dragging himself onto trembling hands and knees.

He lifts his head and growls lowly, before letting it drop in submission. Like a flickering ember snuffed out.

Bill hovers over to the shaking human. He lets his hand rest on Ford's head. "Yeah, _I'd stay down if I were you.._ " he mutters. He gives the human a little pat on the head, snickering. "But at least you're learning, eh?"

Ford lets out a sob. He's just so tired.

"Yes... Yes, Bill."

"Yeah, that's right." Bill gives him a little pat on the cheek. "So are you gonna stop fighting me? Get a bath? maybe more food? I may be mad at you, but you can still earn back my benevolence if you play your cards right!"

A bath. More food. There's nothing Ford wants more in the world right now.

He nods shakily. "Yes... Yes please."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. And you still got a chance to have all that!" He grabs a fistful of Ford's hair. "But if you fucking pull this shit again, Fordsy, you're gonna rot in some dungeon and _starve_ , and that's if i'm feeling particularly altruistic! _Got it_?"

Ford yelps, freezing as terror twists his chest into knots. Tears spring to his eyes.

"Y-yes! Understood!" He squeaks.

Bill releases Ford's hair. "Good..." He takes ahold of the man's face again, though much more gently. He looks him over, clucking his tongue. "We've got a lot of work to do..." he lets him go, backs up a tad, and gives the chain a sharp tug. "Now come along!"

Ford flinches at the rattle of the chain, but drags himself to his feet. His knees shake and threaten to give but he tries his best to follow Bill. It isn't long before his body gives out and he stumbles and falls to his knees.

Bill grumbles, glancing back and shaking the chain. "C'mon, Fordsy, I'm starting to lose my patience with you!"

Ford groans, his muscles tremble from heavy fatigue.

"I can't…" He tries to slide himself forward on his belly, dragging himself across the floor.

Bill rolls his eye. "Oh my fucking..."

he backtracks to where his pet is lying. With a sigh, he floats down to him. "Are you really that _weak_?"

"I haven't slept…. in weeks." Ford croaks.

Bill scoffs. "That's a long time, right?"

Ford buries his head into his arms. "Yes… A long time."

Bill grumbles. "Oh, _for the love of_..."

He reaches down and scoops up his pet into his arms, and resumes floating down the halls. "You better not be fucking with me or you're gonna wish you were never _born_ , Fordsy..."

Despite himself, Ford allows himself to flop in Bill's arms, feeling the heavy pull of sleep dragging him down.

Bill is…. surprisingly warm.

The human is dirty, and smells. His fur is matted and disgusting. But he's not resisting Bill's touch, or protesting the "indignity" of being carried, so Bill decides to consider this a victory. Besides, he's not interested in expending the energy to do anything else. He can sanitize himself later.

He pets the human's tangled fur. "You might as well stop fighting, really, Sixer...there's no way you can hold out as long as I can in any sense of the phrase...is it really worth the pain?" He strokes his hair lovingly. "Isn't this better than having to drag yourself across the floor?" He chuckles. "And to think, all it really takes is for you to not fight me so damn hard..."

Ford utters a soft moan. This is certainly better, he feels light and warm in Bill's arms.

He sighs heavily, shuffling to move himself closer to Bill hands.

Bill laughs to himself, petting the human more. Humans are so fucking easy once you get them sick and tired and hungry...even the most stubborn ones...

Well, he's gonna have plenty of time to tame his new guard dog, but in the meantime he can't wait to show him off to the rest of his gang.


	4. Blood is Thicker Than Water

_Chapter Warnings: swearing, buckets of blood lmfao, humiliation, nudity, dehumanization, torture and threats of torture, sexual assault (in the form of unwanted groping and dirty talk), emotional/verbal abuse, mind games, ableist comments, (implied?) attempted rape/dub-con, implied infanticide, and discussed genocide._

 _A/N:_ _[7/1/2016 8:35:32 AM] Razzle Dazzle Dorito: ((Bill: I can be ur devil or ur angle_

* * *

Ford is roused by an abrupt light shining in his face and he grumbles, shifting in Bill's hold to move his arm over his eyes. All he wants is sleep. Nothing more. It really isn't a big ask.

But Bill is floating up a winding staircase and Ford cranes his head to look around. The scenery is changing. He gazes up at Bill, his eyebrows quirk in a silent question.

Bill could probably just hover all the way to the top of the staircase, but he likes his solid-gold winding staircase dammit! And who's gonna stop him, anyway, the staircase police?

He glances down at Ford briefly as he makes his way to the top. "Oh, you're awake now? Make up your mind!"

Ford scowls. "Kind of hard to fall asleep with all this ridiculous gold flashing in my eyes!" He retorts.

Bill laughs. "Now you're just being persnickety!" Bill does a mocking impression of the nerd as he rocks him in his arms. "'Oh it's too lavish Bill, my feeble old man eyes can't take it anymore'! Jesus Christ, don't you ever stop complaining?" he giggles. "Besides, I thought humans liked shiny baubles!"

He too enjoys shiny baubles, but he's hardly going to give Ford the satisfaction of knowing that. Besides, it's not like he's obsessed with them like humans are...they have such short-sighted goals, the lot of them...

"Baubles are for Christmas. Which you don't even celebrate in this miserable dimension." Ford snaps, crossing his arms and setting his jaw.

"Besides, there's a difference between tasteful design and… megalomania."

Bill scoffs. "Seriously, Fordsy? You of all people have no right to criticize me for megalomania, my six fingered-friend! Let us not forget what brought you to this situation in the first place!"

he skips up the last couple of steps and lands delicately on his feet before pushing off into the air again. "And speaking of things you have no right to criticize me for, Blade Runner called, it wants its fashion sense back!" Bill snorts. " _'Tasteful'_ , really, Stanford?"

Ford narrows his eyes. "I don't dress like this for _fashion_! It's necessity!"

Bill rolls his eye. "Do tell, Fordsy, what hardships have you suffered that would force you to dress up like some rebellious hacker from a bad cyberpunk film?"

"None of your goddamn business." Ford replies shortly, averting his gaze.

He pointedly imagines a brick wall over any thought involving the rebels… Or the molecular destabiliser.

Bill glances down at him, a bit of a smirk forming on his "face". "Oh c'mon Fordsy, don't be like that! I'm _curious_ , I really am!"

"I'm not telling you anything, Bill." Ford mutters. "So forget it."

Bill huffs. "You keep shutting me out and then acting like I'm the problem!" he shrugs, giggling. "Oh well, you'll change your mind _eventually_..."

Ford huffs, scowling. "Never gonna tell you anything." He mutters, more to himself than Bill. "Never going to tell… Can't let them down..."

Bill laughs. "Sure Fordsy, keeeeeep tellin' yourself that..." He turns down a hallway to his left. The sound of liquid trickling from fountains can be heard somewhere in the distance.

Ford perks up a little, flaring his nostrils and sniffing the air. He can smell water… And something metallic. He wiggles in Bill's grip, craning his neck to find the source.

It's close.

Bill holds Ford a little tighter to keep him still. "Be patient, Fordsy, we're almost there!"

He turns to the entrance and opens it telekinetically. A grand bathhouse greets them, statues and fountains made of solid gold, water fixtures spewing blood. There are many pools in the main room, and so many more in the separate rooms that branch off from it. Some are filled with blood, some water (made from widow and widower's tears, primarily), some have liquidized gold and other molten metals in them. Some are even filled with magma, which trails down from a wall of the stuff on one of the farside walls. There's lounging chairs of all different kinds, and short tables filled with expensive body care products, others with snacks. All in all, a very soothing place, even probably by Ford's standards (though not if he found out what they made the soap out of).

The different smells assault Ford's senses all at once and he growls, wrinkling his nose.

" _Blood_? Is that seriously blood?" He asks, lifting his bound hands to block his nose.

"You're sick!" He hisses. "Though I can't say I'm surprised, either!"

Bill rolls his eye. "Oh my god, you are so _picky_!" He snorts. "Beggars can't be choosers Fordsy! Besides, you think I like the way _you_ smell? when was your last shower, the day you fell through the portal? before that?"

He pets Ford. "Besides, blood is good for your outer layer-y thing! And the blood bathing bit is only like the first of a few dozen stages to this cleaning process! You won't even smell that much like it when we're done!"

Ford starts to wiggle frantically. "No! That's unhygienic! That's _wrong_!"

He could smell it. Ugh it stank like a battlefield! It was so bright red it looked fresh and fully oxygenated. A sickening thought dawns on him.

"Where… Where the hell are you getting fresh blood from anyway?"

Bill shrugs. "you know mortals - there's always plenty of them hanging around, and they multiply mighty quick! You could kill thousands of them and they'd just be back in a few hundred years or so!"

He leans down and dips one of his fingers into the pool, Ford still secured tightly in his grip. "Though where the supply from this particular pool comes from is a trade secret! Not even Pyronica knows, haha!" he sticks his finger in his mouth and licks off the red liquid. "Ah, fresh as infant's blood..." he sighs contently.

Ford recoils, utterly repulsed. Bile rises up his throat. He can feel it burn the back of his mouth and it tastes like the steak he teared into earlier. He's positively green in the face.

"That's…. That's disgusting…"

He's seen a lot of things in his lifetime… But never something as abhorrent as this. That was life… Life trickling into that pool and stagnating. Useless.

"You're a monster… You… All those people who have to die for such a simple sick pleasure…" He shakes his head, his stomach heaving.

Bill laughs. "That's showbiz!" he dips his finger back in and flicks a little at Stanford. "Besides, you can't tell me your kind doesn't carve up waaaay more cute fuzzy little lower lifeforms in unnecessarily cruel ways than you actually need to survive just 'cause you're bigger, and stronger, and there's more of you, and sometimes you just wanna feel a little extra special!" He swirls his fingers around in the pool. "To me, your kind isn't super high on the food chain, so what's the big deal, really?"

Ford flinches, his skin crawling as warm liquid splats against his skin.

"We don't bathe in their blood! We just eat their meat! It's not the same!" He protests, frantically thrashing in Bill's arms in an attempt to free himself.

"LET ME _GO_!"

Bill just squeezes him tighter, laughing. "You wear their skins, you eat their young, you keep them in cages for your own amusement, even the smart, funny ones! especially the smart, funny ones!" He ruffles Ford's hair. "Speaking of which!"

Eventually though, he sighs, standing up and stepping back from the pool. " _Fiiiine_ , look, we came here for a reason, and that reason wasn't for you to get all worked up about things you don't understand yet, so..." he grabs Ford firmly with both hands and lifts him up into the air in front of him. "Why don't you calm down for a minute so we can get you all cleaned up and feeling all fresh and pretty, yeah? We can skip the blood pools and maaaaybe the molten magma ones too if it _really_ bugs yah _that_ much ..."

Ford snarls and writhes even more, clawing at Bill's hands. He's panicking. He can feel it. His breath has gotten shorter, his stomach flips as nausea takes hold.

"No… No! Let me go, Bill! How could you? How _dare_ you!" He yells, dissolving into nonsensical guttural cursing and growling.

Bill grumbles, fully annoyed now. "Let you go? Fine, _I'll let you go alright_..."

And with that, he casually tosses Ford into the blood pool in front of them. It's kind of a waste of a perfectly good blood pool, but the satisfaction that wells up inside of Bill makes it pretty much worth it, all in all. He whistles, summoning himself a martini.

Ford hits the bottom of the pool and screams, blood gushing into his mouth and into his ears. Seeping into any orifice it could reach. He surfaces, thrashing madly. The metallic taste is hot and heavy on his tongue and he retches, floundering frantically in the viscous liquid.

He coughs and splutters and splashes as he wades his way over the the rim of the pool, scrambling to hoist himself out of this sickly warm liquid.

Bill laughs, making no movement to help Ford out of his predicament. He drapes himself over a lounge chair and stirs his martini, taking sips periodically.

"Having a nice swim there, Fordsy?"

"Bill, you— GAH!" Ford loses his grip on the side of the pool and splashes back in. He roars, clawing at the sides and attempting to hoist himself up once more.

He slips over the side and crashes to the ground with a yelp.

Bill bursts into laughter. "Oh, you almost got it! Blood's a bit slippery, isn't it?" he takes another drink of his martini. Totally worth ruining the last hour's progress and the blood pool. Worth it all the way.

Ford snarls, blood soaks his entire body. His clothes were sodden and he drips onto the pristine floor.

His stomach heaves and he throws up, retching and coughing until his entire recent meal is splattered across the ground.

Bill takes another swig of his drink. "Enjoy your little dip there, Sixer?"

Ford doesn't respond, just glares hatefully and slowly gets to his feet.

Bill rolls his eye again. "Oh don't give me that look, you were getting all squirmy and irrational ..." he sighs, his martini lulling in his hand. "Well, stage one is complete, I suppose. Ready to move on to more cleaning?"

Ford snarls and spits onto the floor. "Go to hell, Bill!" He snaps, wiping his mouth.

Bill scoffs. "So you'd rather stay all covered in sticky fluids and 20 years of grime rather than curb your temper for an infinitesimally small amount of time, is that what you're telling me?"

"No." Ford mutters between gritted teeth, shaking his hair off and spraying blood everywhere.

Bill laughs. "Ok, then!"

He stands up, summoning Ford's leash into his hand. He gives it a little tug. "Follow me~"

Ford stumbles forwards and curses, rubbing his throat with bloody hands. But he follows Bill, looking around the room warily.

Bill takes another drink of his martini. At least Ford is obeying him still. Good...that's a good sign...There's flexibility in their arrangement...

Bill is torn between trying to test the parameters of that flexibility and letting it rest until he has Ford a little more under his thumb. Hrm, decisions, decisions...

He drags Ford into another room with a smaller pool that is, technically, filled with water. He summons a table full of human grooming stuff and some other interdimensional bullshit humanoids of Ford's approximate size like to pamper with.

He motions to the room in a general fashion. "Here you go! Some comfy shit that doesn't include blood, you judgmental prick!" He finishes his martini. "Might wanna start undressing unless you want me to do it for you!~"

Palpable relief floods through him at the sight of the clean water. He tries to ignore Bill's comment and the heat spreading across his face. Well, he has to clean himself. No time for privacy.

He slowly starts peeling every layer of clothing off, lip curling in disgust. The blood was already drying on his skin and crackling, holding the clothes fast.

"Ugh… It's .. stuck." He mutters, attempting to wiggle out of his sodden pants.

Bill leans down. "need a _hand_?" he summons a few, which slide into Ford's pants, separating the fabric from his skin.

Ford cries out, almost tripping over his own legs as he hastily unsticks his pants and pulls them down. It's hard to tell with all the blood drying on his skin but his face is definitely flushed red.

"Bill—! That's… That's not necessary!" He almost squeaks in protest.

Bill chuckles. "Just trying to help you along..." He leans in a little and whispers. " _You did end up getting pretty warm and sticky after all..._ "

"Go _away_!" Ford snaps, shooing Bill. Honestly, was it not enough the demon threw him in a vat of blood? Now he has to undress him?

He pulls off his remaining clothes, they slap onto the ground and ooze red across the floor. He looks down and looks back up. He's stark naked now.

Oh well… Nothing Bill hasn't seen before, right?

Still… he couldn't help but feel extremely vulnerable like this.

Bill laughs. "You just can't deal with the fact you're _head over heels_ for me!~"

He takes a sip of his martini, looking Ford over. "Well, well, looks like your mind isn't the only thing that the last 20 years beat the shit out of!" He smirks. "Nice ink, by the way."

Ford's skin prickles, aware of the swaths of bruises and scars and tattoos across his body. He still remembers when he took a knife to his own skin and carved the image of Bill's eye off. There was a lot of blood.

There's stab wounds, bullet wounds, burns from lasers... Well... It's just a tribute to his survival.

Ford puffs his chest out, indignant.

"I keep it as a reminder to never trust anyone again."

Bill snorts. "Jesus, you're such a drama queen! It was _one time_..." He takes a drink, still smirking. "besides, there's no need to make excuses, Fordsy. I know you're... _sentimental_.."

Ford chuffs, humourless. "One time. Right." He snorts.

"Now how the hell am I supposed to bathe when I'm covered in blood? If I go into the water I'll just be bathing in bloody water!"

Bill rolls his eye again. "You chose now of all times to pick a fight with how bathing works?"

Ford snarls and crosses his arms over his chest. "I can't _trust_ you."

Bill scoffs. he's already hovering over to a rack of towels. "you know what I think, Mr. Complainy..."

He chooses one, hovers back over to the pool and dips it in briefly. "I think you just don't wanna take a bath! But you don't wanna admit it so you're bitching about it instead! Seems to be an ongoing trend with you, really!"

"Of course I want a bath! But not from _you_!" Ford snaps, hackles raising. His shoulders are hunched over as he glares at the towel Bill is holding.

Bill huffs. "Oh stop being such a baby!" he summons a bowl of water and wrings the towel out in it. "Now get your pretty ass over here before I _make you_!"

Ford eyes him warily but plants his feet stubbornly on the ground. Heat spreads across his face as he looks pointedly at the floor.

 _Don't trust him… don't trust him and his fancy words…_

Bill glowers. "Do you really think me scrubbing you down will be worse than anything else I'd be willing to punish you with?" he lifts his hand. The collar heats up ever so slightly, tiny sparks leaping from it. "Believe me Fordsy, if there's one thing I pride myself on, it's that I am inventive and always willing to try new things! Though i'll settle for old things, if they're _excruciating_ enough!" he shrugs. "Either way, are you really willing to go through that instead of..." he waves the towel around in his hand.

Ford yells, instinctively grabbing at the collar. He ducks his head with a little whimper and hurriedly shuffles over to Bill's side. He looks at the triangle with undisguised hatred.

Bill lowers his hand, the collar deactivating. "Good boy." He notes Ford's bitter expression with another scoff. "Oh don't give me, that...you're the one being childish and rebellious for no reason..."

He grabs Ford roughly by the arm and begins cleansing it.

Ford hisses at the rough scrubbing, gnashing his teeth together.

" _Careful!_ "

Bill rolls his eye again, buffing the towel between Ford's fingers none too gently.

Ford flinches, pulling back from Bill's grip.

"That _hurts_!" He growls.

Bill grabs him roughly by the scruff of the neck. "It wouldn't if you stopped _squirming._.."

He dunks the towel in the bowl of water and starts wiping off Ford's face. He summons another couple of hands to hold Ford's chin and so he can wash him at a better angle.

Ford scowls, remaining still but snapping his teeth at the towel as his patience wears thin. A low snarl erupts from the back of his throat. Rivulets of red run down his back and chest.

Bill's grip tightens. "Stop fucking around, or I'll shock you again, _got it_?"

Ford hisses through his teeth, squinting in pain. But he stays still. His body quivers with frustration.

Bill, satisfied, loosens his grip and returns to scrubbing. He runs the towel through Ford's hair before dunking it back into the bowl and wiping off the other side of his face. "You know, maybe if you stopped testing my patience so damn much, things wouldn't have to be this way..."

"Maybe if you listened to me more, I wouldn't feel like tearing your arms off." Ford retorts, not missing a beat.

Bill laughs, in spite of himself. "You know, if you don't like the way I do things...maybe we could make some sort of _arrangement_?"

Ford curls his lip. "I'm not making any more deals with _you_."

Bill snickers. "Then I guess you'll have to shut up about the way I wash you!"

He reaches Ford's chest and polishes it in concentric circles. "My my, haven't you gotten stronger since the last time we met..." he flicks Ford's pec with his index finger.

Ford stiffens, the force of Bill's scrubbing almost knocking him off his feet. The tendons in his neck bulge as he stays frozen. He gulps, trying to ignore a warmth swelling between his thighs.

Bill giggles, his touch suddenly a lot more gentle as he washes under Ford's tits and guides the towel down his sternum to his stomach. "Is this why you didn't want to have a bath? because the slightest touch gets you all hot and bothered?"

"Shut up." Ford grunts, flushing red. He shivers a little as the towel brushes along his abdomen and he presses his thighs more firmly together.

Bill takes note of that gesture, and laughs. "Oh my god, you're such a _slut_..."

"That's a disgusting word." Ford snaps, despite it chilling him to the core. He huffs, looking away.

Bill chuckles. "I'm hardly the one being disgusting right now..." He glances at Ford's crotch briefly before meeting his gaze again with a superbly smug look.

He buffs under Ford's ribs, hovering a little before dunking the towel back in the warm water and wringing it out over Ford's stomach. He hums as he circles around Ford's hips and pelvis.

"Just get on with it!" Ford mutters, feeling his skin jump at the different sensations.

"Oh I can get on with it..." Bill leans in and whispers. " _If that's what you'd like..._ "

"Shut. _Up_!" Ford growls between gritted teeth, turning his exposed body away from Bill's leering gaze.

"Just… Do what you came here to do! And hurry up!"

Bill chortles. "Fine, fine...but you're hardly in any position to be making demands, Fordsy..." he summons a few other hands and pulls Ford a little closer to him. "Though I can think of a few positions that might be more _convincing_..."

Ford's stomach flips over and his heart bolts in his chest.

"There's… There's no need for that, Cipher." He tries to keep his voice steady but it trembles.

Bill watches Ford's mood switch quickly from defensive irritation to thinly veiled terror. He isn't sure if he likes the change or not. It's not as funny, but it's nice to have Ford put back in his place...

He lets a few tense moments pass, relishing the way Ford's heart pounds and the shiver in his body. Then Bill pushes him away suddenly, laughing. "You're soooo _sensitive_! It's just a joke, lighten up, Fordsy!"

Ford flinches, stumbling on the slippery floor. He blinks, looking at Bill in a shocked stupor.

Bill holds up the towel, snickering. "So are we going to continue, or are you gonna let your 'urges' impede our task again?"

Ford says nothing, just clasps his arms more firmly around his chest.

Bill sighs. "If you're going to have so many hang-ups about this shit, you might as well hurry up and get this over with, _right_?"

"That's what I've been trying to ask _you_ to do!" Ford hurls back at him.

Bill chuckles. " _Fine_..." He floats over to Ford and begins wiping down the back of his neck. "I was only trying to help you know..."

"Funny way of showing it." Ford grumbles.

Bill laughs. "Oh c'mon...I know you're _lonely_..." He wrings the towel out over Ford's back and scrubs it down sequentially.

Ford snorts. "Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely." He arches his back, the massage is pleasant on his aching muscles.

Bill chuckles. "Oh _suuuurrrree_..." he takes his time with Ford's back, rubbing it down far longer than necessary to get rid of the blood. "Well I suppose getting all wet for a little pre-bath cleaning is normal enough, heh..."

Ford feels another swell of heat through his body but he tries to hide it. "Sure, whatever… That's the point isn't it?"

Bill snickers. "yeah, I _guess_..."

He locates a particularly tense part of Ford's shoulder and begins working it, the pretense of washing Ford's back off somewhat forgone. "But you can't tell me you don't miss certain things...that you don't have certain _unfulfilled needs_..."

 _Oh god_. Bill's fingers seem to know exactly where to work. His tight, knotted muscles practically sing at the pressure on them.

He sighs softly, his eyelids fluttering as he leans into those skilful hands.

It just feels good… He's allowed to indulge himself, surely!

Bill laughs softly. "You're pretty _tense_...maybe you oughta just relax for a change, yeah?"

His fingers are meticulous, dancing over every tightened muscle and unwinding them with ease. He can practically feel Ford's guard lowering with every passing second. "I'm not all bad you know...I can be a lot of things, not all of those things have to be unpleasant either..."

Ford's hardly listening, every muscle seems to be unknotting itself. No longer sore and pleasantly light.

"Mhhmm…"

Bill chuckles, summoning more hands to aid in his task. "I actually prefer doing this sort of thing...and I know, deep down, you do too..."

Goosebumps prickle his flesh at the extra hands and he swallows a lump in his throat. _It's fine… Everything's fine._

Bill's fingers dancing across Ford's skin in between rubbing. "Maybe if you just stopped fighting me a little...gave in a little more..." Some of the hands wander down to Ford's ribs and lower back, and a little further down... "You might actually start to _enjoy_ yourself for a change..."

Ford's body goes rigid, tensing at the hands getting just that little bit too far down for comfort.

 _Gave in a little more…_

He snarls at that, a sound that rumbles through his throat and chest.

Bill chuckles. "oh don't be like that..." he leans in a bit, purring. A few of his hands reach down, groping Ford's ass and unseemly little genitalia. " _We both know it's what you want..._ "

Ford twitches, his hands bunching into fists.

"Get… Get your hands off me, Bill." He growls.

Bill laughs. "Why? I mean I _would_ , it's _disgusting_ " he snickers. "but I know this is exactly what you're looking for...what you're desperate for..." His voice drops to a sultry whisper. " _No point in denying it_..."

Ford smacks Bill's hands away, bristling. He hastily backs away, his back hitting the edge of the pool. The rounded sheet of glass tinks at the contact and the large volume of clear water within trembles.

"You're _wrong_!" He hisses.

 _Trust no one trust no one trust no one trust no one…_

Bill grabs him, digging his finger into Ford's skin. "Am I?" he chortles. "That's not what your body was saying a few minutes ago...or when you were rolling around on the floor under my touch like a needy, desperate little _bitch_..."

Ford grimaces, his eyes flashing. He reaches up to grab Bill's arm and pull him off him with his shackled hands. The demigod is far too strong for him and he cries out as those fingers dig deeper.

Bill drags him uncomfortably closer. "Face it Fordsy...you _want me_ , but you're too much of a stuck up sack of meat to _admit it_!"

"Get… Off… Me!" Ford spits every word with venom, glowering at Bill.

Bill's laughter is cruel. "And whatcha gonna do about it if I _don't_ , Poindexter?"

Ford's blood runs cold. Nothing. There is absolutely nothing he could do to stop Bill. Bill has all the power over him he could possibly have.

He whimpers softly, struggling in Bill's grip. He has to escape. He has to run. If he can't fight he can still run.

Bill just tightens his grip, the ends of his fingers becoming claws. "Maybe you oughta just give up while you still can, Fordsy" he growls. " _Before I lose my patience with you..._ "

The claws cut into Ford's skin, drawing blood that slides down his face. He squeezes his eyes shut, thrashing as panic takes hold of him. His heart flutters like a frightened bird beating itself against the bars of a cage.

"P-Please… Stop this…"

Bill scowls. "Calm down right now Sixer, before I do it _for you_!"

He trembles, more fresh cuts bleed. He can't. He can't calm down.

He has to go.

He has to run.

"P-please." He whimpers, weakly reaching to pull Bill's claws off him once more.

Bill's temper boils over. "I've had it with your _disobedience_! I take you in, I clean you up, and you keep _rebelling against me_!" He grabs the chain, yanking Ford up off his feet. He takes the human by the back of the neck, hovering high up above the pool. "You need to start learning to do what I say, when I _say it_ , Sixer!"

He gives a snarl, throws Ford over the side, and shoves his head under water, holding it down. "If this won't teach you, I don't know what will!"

Ford is powerless, his legs dangle uselessly below him as the ground dwindles away. The metal edge of the pool digs into his side as he's forced into it.

His screams are reduced to bubbles of oxygen that float to the surface. He thrashes and strains to pull his head up. His feet kick out in a futile attempt to free himself. Treacherous water floods his lungs.

Bill's visage twists with fury. He licks his teeth, growling. There's more than a little sadistic satisfaction to be found in his expression, however.

He isn't sure how long he can hold Ford down without killing him, and he realizes with some frustration that this is probably something he should know before using this kind of... _persuasion_ on the unruly human... Oh well. He can wing it, right? and if Ford dies, he guesses he can always bring him back...

The world is beginning to fade. Ford was never good at holding his breath underwater. Stanley would always win… Yes, they'd have competitions in the salty waters of Glass Shard Beach… Sand would always get stuck in his hair for weeks and his sunburnt skin would peel…

Stanley…

As his brain starves for oxygen, his last thoughts are of his brother before he finally gives into unconsciousness and goes limp.

* * *

 _A/N: [6/29/2016 8:47:11 AM] Razzle Dazzle Dorito: ((What people expected: sexy billford bath scene_  
 _((what people got: Bill tosses Ford into the Blood Pit(tm) and laughs about it while drinking a martini_


	5. In Hot Water

Bill gives Ford a bath: the sequel.

Warnings: nudity, swearing, blood, unsanitary stuff, dubcon/noncon touching and groping, innuendos, lack of compassion, discussed brainwashing, dehumanization.

* * *

A/N: *Grunkle Stan Voice* And here we have a truly horrifying monstrosity, a chapter so long that it's basically just two chapters smashed together! I call it, the Chapter-Chapter(tm)! *sounds of people ooing and ahhing and taking pictures*

* * *

Bill feels Ford's body give out beneath his grip. He quickly pulls him out of the water, looking him over. Is he...dead?

Bill gives the human a shake. "Oh c'mon, that was barely a few minutes, that's _pathetic_!" He snaps his fingers, pulling the water from Ford's lungs and sinuses. "Wakey wakey, Fordsy! It's no fun holding you under if you're unconscious!"

Ford wakes up with a gasp, coughing and heaving.

"How are we feeling? Ready for another dip?" Bill digs his fingers into the back of Ford's neck. "Or have you learned your lesson?"

"S-stop... Please... I don't know... I can't ..." He whimpers, looking miserably at the ground.

"I'll do what you want..."

Bill releases him, letting him fall to floor. " _Good._ " His gaze is cold. "Don't you _dare_ struggle like that again, do you hear me? When I tell you to do something, you _do it_!"

Ford hits the ground with a grunt, the wind knocked out of his lungs. Pain shoots through his chest and legs, his stomach heaves from the shock of it. "Y-yes..." Ford lets himself go limp onto the floor. Stunned with pain throbbing through his body, he stares blankly into Bill's eye.

"No struggling..."

Bill reaches down and pats him gently on the head. "Good..." he chuckles. "So you are learning..."

Ford says nothing, breathing is hard. His skin prickles at Bill's touch.

Bill's claws morph back into blunt fingers as he gently scoops up the human's limp form. "Now, let's get back to scrubbing, and then we'll start on getting you a proper bath..."

Ford nods, his body feels completely boneless as he dangles in Bill's grip.

Bill hums as he props the human up in his arms. He grabs the towel, dunks it in water again, wrings it out on Ford's legs and begins scrubbing away. He's a little gentler this time. The aftermath of punishing Ford can be just as important as punishing him in the first place, and he's not going to let this opportunity go to waste now that the human is too tired to do much resisting.

Ford winces, his teeth chatter together, his skin is cold and clammy and his head feels light and heavy all at once. He's like a ragdoll in Bill's large hands, limp as a tossed aside toy. His eyes are blank and glazed over.

Bill finishes cleaning Ford off, and has to admit it's less fun, the human being all unresponsive. Still, it's better than him being defiant, he guesses. He weaves the towel in and out of Ford's toes, still humming.

"You see? Isn't it better this way?"

Ford still doesn't respond, staring at the ground and watching the blood soaked water trickle into the drain. His breathing is slowly improving.

Bill huffs. He doesn't mind obedience, but this is far closer to straight up ignoring him, which is just one of those things that ticks him off.

"Oh c'mon, you're not telling me that that _broke_ you?" he chuckles. "It was just a little water..."

Ford blinks slowly. "I'm just doing what you ask." He responds, bitterness in his words.

Bill carries Ford to the tub. He snorts, but he supposes this isn't _untrue_. "Ok fine, but could you like...not be so _boring_ while you're doing it?"

Ford huffs, despite himself. "You just… drowned me and dropped me from four feet high." He wheezes.

Bill shrugs. "I mean, yeah, but you can be submissive without being a drag!"

He hovers over the tub and starts sliding Ford into it.

The water looms below him, sparkling in a huge glass fish bowl. Despite himself, Ford clings onto Bill's arms, digging his nails in. His legs flail uselessly as they hit the water, splashing and churning the crystalline surface.

It's not that he couldn't swim… He just can't trust anything Bill tries to dunk him in.

Bill scowls, pulling Ford out of the water. This actually is far more annoying than him being docile. "Now, now, what did I say about struggling, Fordsy?"

Ford grips onto Bill tightly, shivering from the chill on his wet skin. He looks up to Bill and then down again, willing his legs to stop beating the air.

He draws in a shaky breath and goes still.

Bill gives it a few seconds. his expression neutralizes a little. "Good boy."

He lowers him slowly into the water. "I'll only dunk you again if you piss me off. If you don't, you get a nice calm bath, some fancy soap, whatever you like really. Sound good?"

Ford watches Bill warily but he nods, the warm water feels soft on his calloused skin. He lets out another shuddering breath, willing himself to relax in Bill's hold. He treads water slowly, conserving what little energy he has left.

Bill chuckles, his fingers kneading Ford's shoulders again. "See, isn't this _nice_?"

Ford groans softly, bobbing in the still water of the bowl.

"Mmhmm.." He murmurs, his head tipping forward to give Bill better access. His nose dips into the water and he exhales, blowing a stream of bubbles.

Bill hums, rubbing Ford's back rhythmically. "There are perks to obeying me, you know...to being my pet..."

Ford stiffens at the word. Pet. Is that to be his fate? To live out the rest of his miserable life as Bill's plaything? Being subservient to Bill's every whim? The thought makes his throat tighten and his blood run cold. He swallows, his mouth dry.

"I'm… Not your pet, Bill." Ford croaks.

Bill laughs. "Sure, sure...whatever you say, Stanford..."

He gives him a little pat and continues rubbing his back. He telekinetically moves the buffet of soaps and other assorted cleaning tools nearer to the bath. "Soooo, what would you like to try first? I've heard good things from Keys about this lotion made from...certain organic substances! That are 100% from nature, no additives! Certainly not spinal fluid from anything!"

"Anything not made from sentient creatures." Ford mutters, tracing the water with his fingers and watching the ripples. His legs hang limp in the water.

Bill snorts. "That tosses out like half the stuff here!" He rolls his eye, chuckling. "But ok, whatever you want..." he runs his fingers through Ford's hair. "Anything for my favorite pet..."

Ford bites his lip, stifling a moan. The fingers through his hair, the warmth of the water enveloping him… Simple pleasures he could never have even imagined a few days ago out in the wastelands.

"I'm… still not your pet." He manages, despite his eyes closed and facial muscle completely relaxed and his whole body in pure bliss.

Bill chuckles. "Keep telling yourself that, Fordsy, heheh..."

He reaches for some shampoo that smells like your favorite childhood memory and works it into Ford's hair. Damn, it's matted... he debates just using magic to untangle it rather than risk pulling the wrong hair and shattering that trance-like state Ford is in.

The scent of salt and sand wafts around Ford. It's familiar and puts a longing in his chest he forgot he had. It mingles with the smell of fresh sawn pine wood. His eyes flicker behind his closed lids. He could see him and his brother knee deep in sand and wood shavings. Their skin peeled from the heat of the sun.

He sighs deeply, sinking into the memory. He barely notices Bill's hands working a lather into his hair.

Bill gives into his laziness and motions his hand, the matted clumps of human fur...hair...stuff unwinding themselves. He resists the urge to play with Ford's sideburns or flick his nose. The little dork is falling asleep, his guard all but obliterated by a tub of warm water, gentle touch, and nice-smelling soap.

Bill considers poking and prodding for info while he has an opening. But would it be more worth letting Ford have this false sense of security for just a little tiny bit more so Bill can really cash in when it suits him?

"Like I've been saying, Fordsy, obedience has its perks...making me happy has it's perks..." He laughs in the most charming way he can muster. "And you know what would make me really happy? Telling me all about your little friends! You know, the friends who are your friends but aren't my friends? The non-mutual, very exclusively your friends who i'd love to have as my friends too? Those friends? Why dontcha tell me _all about 'em_ , eh?"

There's a voice, persistent and pitched close to his ear. He wishes it would go away and leave him in this pleasant memory. He can feel the warmth of the sun on his skin, old wounds twitched under the sway of the water.

Maybe if he ignored it, the voice would go away.

Bill grumbles, seeing that Ford isn't paying attention. His frustration at being ignored is very, very potent...

But on the other hand, he can work Ford as much as he'd like, but Ford's sad little body can't exactly be bullied out of weakness...he's tried in the past, after all...several times, in fact...

Bill could snap his fingers and rearrange the stupid meatsuit until Ford had to stay awake, but then Ford would just resent him, and it would pretty much undo the entire last hour or so Bill has sacrificed getting him to this cozy, trusting state.

Yes he can torment Ford as much as he wants...but that's only a small component of what Bill really wants...

After all, that pathetic, sad look on his face when Bill drowned him just a little was _hilarious_ , not to mention satisfying...but it ultimately lead to the much less interesting, dead-to-the-world, ragdoll of a person Ford retreated to for a few seconds. Less interesting, and less useful.

Hrm...maybe it would be best to wait until Ford's ridiculous body had its "rest" or whatever...in the meantime, Bill can think up more fun ways to poke and prod and twist and bend and sculpt his fragile psyche into exactly what Bill wants him to be...

Bill leans down and gives Ford a little pat. he whispers in his ear. "Alrighty, Fordsy...you win this round, you clever little bastard..." He giggles. "But if you don't think I won't break you in the end and get every last little thing I want..." He gives him a little kiss on the cheek. "Well you're not as clever as you think you are, heheheh..."

The memory dissipates slowly, though Ford clings to the tendrils of it, begging it to stay.

Reluctantly he opens his eyes, the bathhouse swims before him. Bill looks like he's just said something to him.

"Hm? What was that?" Ford asks, still rather dazed. Without his glasses the world shimmers and smudges together. It's hard to see any detail. Anything that might help him.

Bill chuckles. "Oh, nothing of consequence..." He pats Ford on the cheek. "Don't worry your pretty little head over it..."

He carefully leans Ford back. "Might wanna close your eyes for this bit." Bill cups his hand, dips it in the water, and pours it over the human's hair. "Anyway, _enough about me_ , let's talk about _you_!"

Oh right. Bill. How could he forget?

Ford can't help but snort. The demigod sounds like a chatty hairdresser. The barber his mother had insisted he go to was quite similar. Meaningless chatter. Pretending to care about your day to fill the awkward silence save for the snip of the scissors or buzz of the razor.

Ford shrugs. This is clearly more than meaningless chatter. The back of his neck prickles slightly.

"There's nothing to say about me. I'm no one."

Bill laughs. "Oh _maybe,_ but not to some people!" He takes up some conditioner that's made out of the crushed organs of an adorable but treacherous breed of furry desert animal and some interdimensional coconut oil or something and slathers it into Ford's hair. "Not to me, for instance! Why I think you're very _special_..." he laughs. "as far as infinitesimal mortals with infinitesimal lives go..." He works the conditioner into Ford's hair, chuckling. "And I'm sure you're not such a nobody to your friends and loved ones and such either, now are you?"

The thought of his friends and family sends that ache through Ford's chest once more. He heaves another sigh, watching his breath ripple the water.

"I might as well be dead in their eyes. Not like I'll ever see them again."

Bill rolls his eye. He really couldn't care less, but he needs to focus...push this line of questioning...

"Oh, maybe not..." he shrugs. "But some you might see real soon!" He laughs. "I mean it might even be high time for some of your pals and _I_ to get together..." he lets the conditioner stay in for a bit, massaging Ford's scalp. "Of course, not going in _blind_ , how rude would that be? So maybe it would be nice if you could, you know, tell me a little about them...just a _tad_..."

Ford blinks. "What friends? I don't have any friends."

Bill laughs. "Oh Stanford...such a kidder, always kidding, you..." he digs his fingers in a bit. "Ok then, maybe let's call them, uh, hrm... _associates_?" He chuckles, flicking his wrist. "Aaaannyyhow, who cares what we call them, right? Details! meaningless details..." He makes it a point to rub Ford's temples with juuuust the right amount of pressure before continuing. "I'm referring to your colleagues, Stanford! You know...big goals...lots of work ...always work with you, haha..."

The rebels. It clicks in Ford's head.

Bill wants to know about the rebels. His whole body tenses up, despite the massage. His mind instinctively recoils. He bunches his fists, his spine is rigid.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Oh, _now_ Ford gets it... took him long enough.

Bill chuckles. "Oh I think you _do_..."

Ford ducks his head, escaping those spindly fingers. He darts like a startled fish to the other side of the pool. He grips the side, watching Bill warily.

"I-I don't know anything." He repeats, his heart in his throat.

"Now, now, now, Fordsy..." Bill laughs, hovering over slowly. "No need to get all..." he gestures, wiggling his fingers rapidly. "Ulch, you know?"

Bill makes his body language as non-threatening as possible. If he could just get him back to being a little more docile...let Bill touch him again... "Look, I just wanna have a chat is all! Nothing major..."

Ford cowers, his back pressed against the glass. He's cornered and naked in this pool that is steadily losing it's heat. His skin erupts in goosebumps and he wraps his arms around his chest, shivering a little.

He doesn't respond, merely eyes Bill closely. The whites of his eyes flash, his pupils contracting.

It's never just a chat with Bill.

Bill huffs. "Ok, look, fine, you wanna assume the worst about me, then assume the worst about me!" he throws up his arms. "So maybe nothing is free with me, but is anything free, Fordsy? I mean really, all I'm asking for in return for this nice little grooming session is that you open up to me a bit! is that really such a big _deal_?"

Ford's nostrils flare, flinching as Bill throws up his hands. But nothing happens.

"I don't… I don't know what you're talking about." He repeats again. He can't give away the rebels. They trusted him. He was to build the weapon to end Bill. Bill couldn't know about any of that!

Bill rolls his eye again, lowering his arms, _slowly_ this time. "Look, you could at least spare me the insult of playing dumb, I know pretty much everything! Hell, I can read your thoughts right now!" _Well not really, but does he need to know that? Nope!_ "And I mean does it really matter if you give me a few meaningless details of your own?"

Bill hovers a little closer, gently touching Ford's shoulder. "just looking for a little info, Fordsy. It doesn't have to be _significant..._ " he chuckles. "Just small talk...I mean how else are we supposed to _bond,_ right?"

Ford winces, twitching away from Bill's hand as though it burned him. He clicks his teeth tightly together. The metal plate should protect him from Bill. That's why the Oracle gave it to him. That what it's there for.

He's bluffing… He doesn't know everything… You know this. You feel for this trap before.

He quietly coaches himself through the turmoil of thoughts,

"Then… Why don't we talk about your friends? You have more friends than I do. I'm just a lowly human."

It's a poor attempt to steer the subject, but better than outright denying Bill, right?

Bill laughs. "Oh, but Fordsy, my friends don't get up to anything _interesting_ " he laughs. "They don't have big grand plans like _yours do_..." he pats Ford on the shoulder, forcing the contact. "You mortals and your _plans_ , haha!"

He shrugs. "But I mean, I could talk about my friends if you talk about yours...you know?" He reaches out and grabs Ford's other shoulder, pulling him closer. "S _mall talk_ , right?"

Ford curls his neck, turning his face away. Bill is _too close_.

"There are no plans." He manages to spit out.

Bill snorts. " _Of course not..._ "

He begins rubbing Ford's shoulders. "Ok then, let's talk about other things...I'm sure they get up to plenty of other things that I don't have time to watch...fun, inconsequential things...surely something worth talking about, yes?"

Ford glares up at him. "Most of their time is spent trying to survive this hellscape."

Bill chuckles. "Oh, sounds like fun! Let's talk about _that_..."

He doesn't care, but it might lead to something useful...at very least, Ford might let slip something about himself he never intended to. That's the thing about getting someone talking - unless they're adept at the delicate art of saying a lot without saying anything, they always let something slip. Hell, even then, it sometimes happens. And Ford was never one much for chatting at all...and his body is so very, very weak and his mind so very, very vulnerable right now...

Well, anything could happen. Besides, even useless secrets would be fun to watch Ford reveal to him.

Ford bristles. "It's not fun! They're starving! Trying to avoid getting eaten by your beasts! Trying to work out how the hell to…." He trails off. "To find a way to get through the day!" Ford finishes hastily.

"No one's happy."

Bill laughs idly. "Sounds exciting!"

Ok, maybe he should dial it back a bit...Ford knows he's sadistic, but he doesn't need any reminders.

Bill does his best to fake sympathy. "I mean, it must be very, um, unpleasant too, I suppose..." _Oh come on, you can do better than that!_ "All that running around, trying not to die...I guess that would be...unfortunate..."

He was small once. And weak. And mortal even. But that was a long time ago. So long ago he doesn't remember, or perhaps simply doesn't care to. Not that it matters, since he was never much good at relating those sorts of events in his life to someone else's similar ones... only good at seeing when someone is lacking and figuring out how to fill that void.

It a great deal harder with Ford, now, since he still feels the sting of being betrayed...and his mind is so broken...

But everyone has a void to fill, and that nasty little empathy thing can be very useful in that regard. Mortals, for some twisted biological reason, tend to project their needs onto others, and take on the needs of others as their own. Ford was always so very, very susceptible to this, if for nothing else than his primary need - to be a hero. To be special, instead of just a freak. To be loved instead of despised. To stand out in a good way, rather than a bad one. And that's what made him so easy in the past to manipulate... His void was a gaping hole in his chest, obvious to anyone who got close enough.

Judging by his stint with the rebels, this need hasn't diminished. Time to see if Bill can still play to it...

"You know, maybe it wouldn't have to be like that...that cruel, unforgiving life..." Bill digs his fingers into all the right places in Ford's wound up, tense back. "Maybe if someone were to come along and _help them_..."

Ford eyes Bill with nothing but distrust. It's still clearly difficult for him to show basic empathy.

"The only way you could help them is if you died or left this place." He snarls.

Bill lets out a little gasp, feigning hurt. "Wow, first of all _, rude_!" he finds a knot in Ford's shoulder and begins working it with dedication. "And second of all, maybe you could meet me halfway? I'm a god of chaos and nightmares, but I'm trying here, Fordsy! And third of all..." he gestures, smiling. "I wasn't talking about _me_..."

Ford rolls his shoulders, his gaze is steady and focused to a pinprick of attention on Bill. He simply cannot let down his guard.

But then those fingers weave magic into his knotted muscles, relieving the tension he didn't even realise he's holding there. He lets out a woosh of breath, sighing with relief.

"I'm... merely speaking the truth." He breathes.

Bill chuckles. "Well, _a_ truth, at least..." he motions like he's flicking the thought away. "But anyhow, these are just more meaningless details and we both know it! Are you even hearing my proposal?"

"I'm not interested in any proposal you have to offer." Ford's voice is sharp as ice.

Bill rolls his eye once more. "Not even to help your pals?" he scoffs. "gosh Forsy...and here I thought _I_ was cold..."

"Forget it, Bill." He snaps, bristling. He crushes down an impulse to sink his teeth into Bill's arm.

Not yet.

Bill huffs. "And you call me the unreasonable one...you're the one turning down good deals and being stubborn just because you got your feelings hurt one time..."

Ford narrows his eyes. He needs to escape this. There's only one way out.

"Leave me _alone_." He growls before ducking his head and diving down to the bottom of the pool. Sure it might be childish but at least it's quiet down here.

He tucks his knees to his chest, controlling the air air bubbling slowly from his lungs.

Bill doesn't follow him down. The water is just deep enough that it would almost qualify as swimming, and it's hardly worth the effort.

He chuckles, even through the annoyance welling in him. First you don't like the water, and now you can't get enough of it? Make up your mind, Fordsy!

Ford's mind is distant, thanks to that motherfucking scrap of metal in his fucking skull, but not out of Bill's reach. Little is, after all.

Ford shoves Bill away with a strong mental push. The damn triangle's voice sounds muted and far away. He could just lie here forever… He closes his eyes, letting out the last few precious bubbles of air. He could hold his breath for just a little longer… He's calm now at least.

Bill taps his fingers on the rim of the tub, his irritation growing. You think you can keep _me_ out, Stanford? Are you really that much of a _fool_?

It makes him sound like a Disney villain, but fuck it. He reaches out, pushing against Ford's mental walls with just a little bit more force...

Eventually you're gonna run out of air you know. And then you're gonna _drown_ , or surrender, whichever comes first... he chuckles again. This isn't just a pointless excursion, it's a _pathetic_ one. But hey, at least you got to put a few gallons of water between yourself and I for _4 whole minutes_! I can see how that might be _real worth it_...

Ford huffs, his lungs begin to scream for air and he opens his mouth, inhaling the slightly salty water.

He frantically kicks off the bottom of the glass pool and resurfaces with a ragged gasp. Despite wishing to hold his dignity he coughs and splutters and spits out water, flailing and gripping desperately onto the side.

Bill laughs. "So between the water and me, who's more forgiving?"

Ford spits out water in Bill's direction, glaring.

Bill grabs Ford's chain and give it a yank. "Watch it, Fordsy. I'm not _that_ forgiving..."

Ford yelps, the chain clinks near his ear and instantly sends his heart galloping in his chest.

Bill chuckles, winding the chain around his hand. "Now then, where were we?"

Ford flinches back, eyes darting from Bill's eye to the chain in his hand. "I… I told you! I'm not helping you with anything, Bill!"

Bill laughs. "Oh yeah, _suuuuurrrre..._ " his casual cheer doesn't dissipate, but there's a predatory nature about how he looks at Ford. "You know forever is a long time, right? Like, not the kind of long time humans usually think is a long time, that's _nothing_ , I'm talking so long so vast your primitive mind can't even conceive it!" He giggles. "I want you to think about that whenever you put up a sad, pitiable struggle like the bullshit you just pulled, because that's how long you're going to be spending with me, Fordsy! _Eternity._ "

He shrugs. "I mean really, anything is possible in that length of time. You'll crack eventually, and when you do, well..." he gives the chain a shake. "I'll always be here for yah, Sixer!~"

Ford hisses between his teeth, lip curling in disgust. "Never." He mutters. "I'll never break. Not to you."

Bill rolls his eye. "Lemme explain to you in a way that you might understand: eternity is a long time. Infinite things happen during that long time. One of those things is your resolve giving out. No one's coming to save you. It's inevitable."

Ford scowls. "I'm aware of that. Like you said, a lot of things could happen. Like me not giving up and finding a way home."

Bill chuckles. "Well I guess we'll see how long you're willing to hold out for that slim, insignificant chance..." he gestures idly. "How much pain you're willing to endure to wait...how much despair you can withstand for the foreseeable future..."

He shrugs. "But I suppose there's still a quote-unquote 'chance'...theoretically..."

"Gee you make it sound so fun." Ford remarks dryly, relaxing a bit more before swimming over to the other side of the pool. It's actually quite soothing in this water. He hasn't swum like this is ages.

Bill laughs. "You're the one being stubborn, putting your luck to the test...trying to win the lottery with someone else choosing the card..." he summons a martini. "But who am I to judge?"

Ford continues to paddle contently around the pool, flipping onto his back to look up at the ceiling. His stark nakedness didn't bother him as much now. He ignores Bill and continues to float freely.

Bill stirs his drink. "Again with the trying to tune me out, do you really think that'll work, Fordsy?"

"Maybe I'll just ignore you for all eternity." Ford mutters.

Bill laughs. "Oh I highly doubt that, Stanford..." He leans over, propping his arm up on the rim. "As you are aware, I'm _extremely_ difficult to ignore..." He takes a sip of his drink.

Ford sniffs, focusing on the ceiling and floating into the middle of the pool, away from the rim.

Bill chuckles, watching Ford idly. "You can try I suppose...but eventually you'll get bored...lonely...hungry too, since ignoring me means ignoring dinner..."

"Mhm…" Ford replies, his stomach growls at the thought of food. His skin is starting to shrivel and dry up.

Bill takes another drink. "And I mean...you could put up walls, refuse to work with me...but that comes with its own _unpleasant_ consequences..." he snickers. "Besides me just letting you waste away, of course..."

"Too impatient for that, I'm guessing?" Ford says, floating over to the other side of the bath and attempting to hoist himself out. His muscles shudder under the strain, his legs scramble against the slippery glass.

Bill laughs. "Give me some credit, Fordsy!" He stares into his glass, stirring it. "I mean I did wait around for your lovesick, dawdling ass to fall head over heels for me and complete the portal! Starving you out will take a _much_ shorter time, I'm sure..." He reaches out and gives the chain a solid pull.

Ford wheezes, the collar tightening around his neck, before he crashes back down into the water.

"What was that for?" He splutters, flailing. "I want to get out!"

Bill lets the martini hover out of his hand. He pulls a little sword with a cherry and eyeball on it out of his drink, and slips them off one by one with his teeth. "I'm sorry, was someone talking? Funny, didn't think there was anyone else here..."

"Bill! You heard me! I need to get out! I'm getting cold!" Ford protests, his legs beating the water frantically to stay afloat. He reaches for the rim of the pool but finds himself pulled short by the chain.

"Bill!" He yelps, panicked as his legs ache from fatigue. He couldn't keep this up for much longer.

Bill chuckles. "Gee, I wonder what that splashing is? Couldn't be someone else here...since I'm all _alone_..."

He hears the splashing begin to give way. He'll have to bail the poor sap out soon enough but...

"Guess it would be a shame if there were someone here, since this pool is a little deep..." He snickers, give the glass another swirl. "hope whoever's _not here_ isn't mortal..."

Ford struggles to keep himself afloat.

"Bill!" He cries out, his arms and legs feel like lead. He scrabbles to hold onto one of Bill's angles... Anything to anchor him.

Bill chuckles, even as Ford grabs him. He digs his finger into the back of Ford's neck and tears the struggling creature off of him. "Now, now, no need to be so panicked, Fordsy! I'm right here, after all!" He chortles. "Oh but that's right, you were ignoring me a couple of minutes ago!" He takes a swig of his drink. "how's that working out for ya?"

Ford snarls, reaching out to swat Bill's drink from his hands.

Bill pulls Ford just out of reach, clucking his tongue. He finishes off his drink. "Goodness, such unbecoming behavior..." He smirks. "Come on Fordsy, we both know this is all pointless! You're running out of energy, I'm running out of patience..."

Ford huffs, crossing his arms. He feels foolish, dangling uselessly over the pool of water.

Bill chuckles. "So, how's about we forget all this pettiness (for now, heh), and finish getting you all cleaned up and ready to show off, hrm?"

Cleaned up sounds good. Shown off? Not so much. But Ford sighs, letting his head drop to his chest.

"Fine." He mutters.

Bill laughs. "Good."

He hovers away from the tub, taking Ford with him. He lets him down to his feet. "So, I guess we'll start with drying you off now." he summons a couple of towels. He looks Ford up and down smugly. "Hrm, I don't think those chains are super conducive to the whole drying off process. How unfortunate. Guess I'll have to do it for you!~"

Ford scowls. "Or you could take the chains off and I dry myself off."

Bill chortles. "There it is!" he flicks his wrist, chuckling. "You're such a kidder, Fordsy! Always such a kidder..." He gives Ford a look. "Of course I suppose you could try and _convince_ me if it's so important to you..."

Ford flinches back, cradling his wrist to his chest and curling his lip. "I'm not playing your games, Bill." He growls.

Bill rolls his eye. "Suit yourself!"

He throws all but one of the towels over his arm, hovering closer to Ford. "Let's get started, then..."

A low snarl rumbles through Ford's chest, gaze unwavering and fixed firmly on Bill.

Bill snorts. "Now, now, Fordsy...you can't have your cake and eat it too!" He twists the towel around his hand. "Either you deal with me, or you _deal with me_ , understand?"

Ford twitches a little at that, eyes wide. He refuses to take his gaze off that towel for a second.

"Understood." He says.

Bill fiddles with the towel idly, hovering slowly closer. "So you hold still now, got it?" He chuckles. "And don't even think about biting me..."

Oh it's just so tempting… But Ford grits his teeth and nods. "I won't bite."

Bill chortles. "Good..."

He unwinds the towel, reaches out, and grabs Ford. He begins with his shoulders, practically buffing out Ford's skin.

"Too rough!" Ford barks, his skin burning.

Bill sniggers. "Maybe you shoulda thought of that before being all stubborn!" he pulls Ford a bit closer to him, gripping his arm. "Now shuddup and let me work..."

Ford growls and snaps his teeth threateningly, pulling away from Bill's sharp grip. Ugly red marks appear under those ink-black hands.

Bill scowls. "Now, now, we talked about this, _Fordsy_..." He digs in his fingers. His voice becomes something quite sharp and feral itself. " _No. Biting._ "

Ford bares his teeth and hisses, glaring daggers at Bill. His canines glint under a film of saliva.

Bill grinds his teeth behind his reddening eye. "Now you're going to let me do exactly what I _want_ to do to you, or you're going to make a _deal_ , and those are your only _two options._ If you try to fight your way out like a fucking raving lunatic, " he chuckles darkly. "well let's just say you might find the third option markedly _unpleasant_."

Ford feels rage surge and thrum under his skin. But fear is stronger, chilling his blood at the sight of Bill's reddening eye. He's getting angry again.

He swallows his pride, nodding with a stiff jerk of his head.

Bill's eye begins returning to normal. "Good choice..." Not his favorite of the three, but certainly not awful.

Bill doesn't let go, but his grip loosens a little. He begins drying off Ford's arm. "I'm beginning to think you're a glutton for punishment." He chortles. "Though I guess you are learning, even if oh so slowly..."

Ford tries to focus on his breathing instead… And not imagine himself tearing Bill to shreds. Biting out his eye… letting the ocular fluid drip down his chin… ripping off his arms and legs…

When he's aware of his breathing again he realises he's hyperventilating.

Damn it… _Breathe_ …

He closes his eyes, forcing himself to hold his breath for just that little bit longer… Ignore the sandpaper feel against his skin… Ignore Bill… Stay in control...

Bill smirks. Is it fear or fury that's making Ford shake so violently? A bit of both, most likely. Either way, it's funny, watching him try his best to contain it.

Bill scrubs away at Ford's skin, hardly caring how gentle he oughta be or just how many cells he's sloughing off. "That's it, Fordsy... I mean, just think - keep yourself from acting out just a _little bit_ longer and it will be all be over so much sooner!"

Ford heaves a shuddering breath, his skin stings. He keeps his teeth firmly pressed together, refusing to cry out.

Bill continues scouring Ford's flesh, whistling as he does it. He pokes and prods Ford here and there, tickling him under the arms, pinching his cheek.

When he gets to Ford's ass, he gives it a smack.

Ford yelps, startling out of his mindful haze. He processes what Bill just did… Did he just…?

Rage that has been simmering boils forth.

"Cut that _OUT_!" He snaps, lunging forward at Bill with teeth bared.

Bill laughs, hovering out of the way. "Oh, quit your whining! It's nothing to get worked up about!"

"You have no… no _right_ to touch me like that!" Ford snarls, bristling with fury.

Bill snorts. "First of all, you're being a total square!" he hovers a little closer, giggling. "And second, it's actually kind of sad _and_ adorable that you still think that!"

Ford crushes down the urge to spit in that slitted eye once more. "Unchain me and give me the towel." He growls.

"I can do this myself."

"Only if we make a deal!~"

"No!" Ford barks. "I won't make any deal with you!" The chains binding his wrists clink as he swiped his hand across his chest in defiance.

Bill shrugs, chuckling. "Then I guess you'll just have to put up with it!"

Ford huffs and turns on his heel, walking away from Bill. He needs to find his clothes. His eyes scramble to pick out the blur of red that oozes even more red.

Bill puts his fists on his angles. "Hey! Don't you walk away from _me_ , young man!" He cackles. "ok, old man would be more accurate..."

Ford ignores him, kneeling down next to a smelly red mass that had to be his clothes.

He sighs. What a mess.

Bill hovers over to him, chain in hand. "Excuse me, I'm talking to you, Stanford!"

He is only somewhat as irritated as his tone would suggest. He's actually somewhat interested in seeing how this will play out. He giggles a little. "What're you fucking with those grimy rags for, anyhow?"

"I need clothes. I need to clean these." He murmurs, picking through the mess. He picks up his coat with dismay. It's ruined... But it's still better than nothing.

Bill laughs. "Well, good luck with that, Sixer!"

Ford jerks his head around to glower at him, curling his lip with a low snarl. Then, he scoops up his sodden clothes and marches past Bill, heading towards one of the nearby water fountains.

It's an ornate thing, sculpted with yet another triangular image. Ford spits on it and shoves his clothes into the clear water, dying it red.

Bill cackles. "My, how petty you've grown!" He summons a glass of Time Punch and takes a sip. "Oh, I forgot, you were always real petty! That thing with your brother? _Low,_ Sixer!"

Ford pushes the clothes deeper into the fountain, scrubbing them furiously. Blood and years of dust and dirt swirl around in the once crystal clear water.

He sets his jaw. "Shut up, Bill." He mutters.

Bill chuckles. "Oh, sore subject, huh?"

He takes another drink. "I mean, but how are you supposed to move past things if you don't talk about them?" He swirls his glass. "I really think we should start discussing that attitude of yours! Most ungrateful, really! No wonder people hate helping you!"

Ford huffs, pointedly ignoring him. The water's turned a filthy red-brown.

Bill hovers closer to him. He sits on the edge of the fountain, legs crossed. "I mean, here I just showed you some hospitality and you have the nerve to go and ignore me when the subject changes to things you don't like! Like, what are you, a child?"

He summons another hand to swish around in the contaminated water and flick it in Ford's face.

Ford hisses, recoiling sharply as the water flicks into his eyes. He growls and rubs them with his arm. They sting and water and he rubs them more furiously until they're red and raw.

Meanwhile his clothes float uselessly in the tainted water.

Bill takes another very smug drink of Time Punch. "Truth _stings_ , doesn't it?"

Ford squints furiously at him before he walks back to the rim of the fountain and splashes the water right back at Bill. Then he fishes his clothes out of the fountain and storms off in the other direction.

Bill grumbles, but his anger quickly dissolves. Poor Fordsy has _nothing_ and it's almost sad to watch him try and gather some semblance of dignity!

He chuckles, taking another sip. "Hate to see ya leave, _love_ watching you go, Sixer!" he gives the chain a light tug. "Forgetting something maybe, are we? Not gonna get too _far_ with that attitude!"

Ford staggers to a halt, stiffening and instinctively gripping the collar around his throat. He utters another low growl, clutching his clothes tightly. Brown water oozes down his naked thighs.

Bill rolls his eye. "Get your ass back here, and stop grumbling so damn much! This is the path _you_ chose, might I remind you, might as well make the best of it!"

Ford grits his teeth and doesn't move. Bastard. He doesn't have a choice in anything .

Bill gives the chain a little stronger of a pull. "C'mon, Sixer! You know this is pointless!" he wraps the chain around his hand. "So are you gonna come back on your own, or am I gonna have to drag you?"

Ford huffs and doesn't respond, clutching his clothes like a lifeline. He really needs to dry these…

Bill gives the chain a sharp tug. " C'mon Sixer, before I decide to take this _personally_..."

Ford growls and plants his feet stubbornly, tipping forward.

Bill chuckles. "So you _are_ a glutton for punishment, eh?"

He sighs, gesturing to the collar, which begins glowing a bright blue and sparking.

Not again. Ford hisses and shakes his head before hastily rushing over to Bill's side, bristling.

Bill chortles. "Not as brave as you thought you were, hrm?" he takes another drink. "Anywhoozles, might wanna get those skins on before we get to the throne room! Unless you wanna introduce yourself to all my friends _au naturale_ , heheh..."

Ford just pins Bill with a sharp glare. "I can't put them on while they're wet. I need to dry them."

Bill laughs. "Yeah, like that's gonna happen!" he takes another drink. "Look, I may be willing to wait for things here and there, but don't have patience for boring things, 'k? so, y'know...figure it out!"

Ford sighs heavily. "And you won't dry them for me, I'm guessing?"

Bill scoffs. "C'mon Fordsy, after all I already did for you? kinda pushing it!" He takes a drink. "unless you wanna make a _deal_...?"

Ford's blood runs cold at the very sound of the word, he looks warily at Bill.

"What sort of deal?"

Bill shrugs. "Oh, nothing too heavy, I know you still don't 'like' or 'trust me' yet!"

Ford narrows his eyes. "Spit it out, Cipher. What the fuck do you want from me?" He snaps.

Bill stirs his drink. "No need to be so testy, Sixer!" He giggles. "Alllll I want is...some token of your affection...you know?"

Ford's upper lip twitches. "Like _what_?"

Bill smirks. "A kiss."

Ford's heart plummets to his feet. Something so simple … It's never so simple with Bill. The back of his neck prickles.

"That…That's all?"

Bill shrugs. "Yeah, that's _all_..." he giggles. "Juuuust a little tiny kiss and you won't have to slog around in sopping wet skivvies! Sound fair?"

Ford nods slowly. "F-fine… It's a deal." His voice cracks but he holds out his trembling hand to Bill.

A kiss in exchange for dignity and comfort. He can do that.

Bill takes his hand and gives it a good shake. A burst of cold blue fire consumes their arms, travelling from Bill's to Ford's.

"Sooooo, let's get this show on the road!" Bill laughs. He bats his eye as he leans in nice and close. "Pucker up, sweetheart!"

The familiar cool heat sends chills through his skin, his heart twists in his constricting chest.

He ducks away from Bill's eye and picks up his hand, giving it a quick peck before hastily backing away.

Bill snorts. "oh c'mon, that wasn't a kiss, that was a hit and run!" He drags Ford close to his eye. "Go ahead, plant on one me! And this time, _really put your mouth into it_ , Sixer!" he snickers.

Ford cries out, pushing his hands against Bill's surface and recoiling as far as the chain would allow him.

"You.. You got your kiss, Cipher!" He yelps, nails digging into Bill's surface.

Bill huffs. "You know, this is no way to start a relationship!" he wraps his arms around Ford, pinning him to his form. "Go on, do it! Do it right this time, c'mon on!"

Ford finds his face planted against Bill, so tight he could hardly breath. He kicks out, snarling and thrashing in a panic.

Bill grabs him by the scruff, digging sharp fingers into his skin. "Do it, or the deal's _off_ , Fordsy..."

Ford growls, squeezing his eyes shut and gripping tightly onto Bill. He gulps down the lump of terror and presses his lips against Bill's eye.

Bill chuckles. "ah yeah, that's it...there we go..."

His eyes splits suddenly. his tongue weaves out over his teeth and all but caresses the side of Ford's face.

Ford's lips touch teeth and he yelps, jerking backwards in Bill's grip. He sees the nightmarish tongue and flinches to the side, ducking his head. Bill's grip on him is far too tight and all it does is constrict the collar tighter around his throat.

He gasps, snapping his teeth in disgust.

Bill puts his fingers around the back of Ford's head and pulls him closer, pushing him into his tongue. He giggles, rolling the forked muscle around Ford's face and in his hair, covering him in saliva.

Ford hisses and fights against Bill. "E-Enough!" He barks, squirming and kicking out. Warm saliva drips down the back of his neck and he shivers. His naked body heated and alight as adrenaline burns through his body.

Bill suddenly releases his hold on Ford, tossing him backwards. He wipes the drool from under his eye, cackling. "Just returning the favor, Fordsy!" his eyelid dips down, his lashes fluttering. "And my, what a favor..." he chuckles. "Amazing, what a little motivation can do..."

Ford hits the ground with a heavy thud, collapsing and gasping on the floor. He curses through gritted teeth, wearily clambering back to his feet.

"You… You promised…" He breathes. "Give me my clothes."

Bill plucks his Time Punch out of the air, giving it a stir. "Hrm? oh, yes, of course...a deal's a deal!"

He snaps his fingers. Ford's clothes unwind and disassemble into particles, leaving every drop of water on the floor. They float over to Ford and reassemble on his body, weaving themselves back into clothes over his form. "There you go, nice and dry!"

Ford's whole body relaxes, relieved to be clothed and shielded. He bows his head with a heavy sigh. He just wants to sleep now.

Bill takes a sip of his drink. "Y'know...I really feel like we can find our footing again, you and I, Fordsy! I mean...we just work so well together!"

Bill's voice is far away, Ford head is spinning around and around and suddenly he's back on the floor. He doesn't remember hitting the ground but he feels the impact thrumming through his body.

That's right… Ford vaguely thinks. I haven't eaten or slept in weeks…

Bill looks down at Ford when he hears the thud. He grumbles. "Are you kidding me?"

He sighs, hovering over to Ford and prodding him with his finger. "Let me guess, some other stupid as shit thing went wrong with your pathetic meat body and now you're gonna go back to sleep again, right?"

Ford groans, the world is still spinning at a ridiculously fast pace.

"Just… Just for a little while." He mumbles.

Bill sighs, taking him up in his arms. "Well at least you're clean this time around..." He pats his head, stroking his hair. "If you sleep again, promise me you'll at least be awake for my party. Promise?"

Ford yawns, his jaw cracking. He leans towards the warmth… regardless of the fact that its source was Bill… Thoughts detach and float aimlessly in his mind.

He moans softly at the stroking, curling into a tight ball.

"Mmmhmm…"

Bill laughs softly. "Alright, I guess I can let this slide then..." he runs his fingers through Ford's hair. "Sweet dreams, Sixer..."

 _Hope you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after your nap, because we've still got so many_ fun things _left to do..._


	6. Obtuse Triangle

_Bill offers Ford a chance at some significant information._

 _Warnings: swearing, mind games, emotional blackmail, dehumanization, comic mischief(tm)._

* * *

Ford barely even remembers falling asleep before his eyes snap open and a blurry world returns in hues of red. He's lying on a cold floor. He seems to be in some sort of chamber, stained glass forming the roof. The red sky billows above, bruised black clouds boil with blood.

He reaches up to instinctively pull his glasses out of his coat pocket, the chains around his wrists clink musically. He slips his hands into his pocket. There's nothing there.

Panic grips him. His glasses were gone! He couldn't see properly! All he could see were blurry colourful splotches of movement.

This is bad. He looks around for anything else that might help him, a low snarl building up in his throat as his heart begins to thud faster. There's a dog bowl with his name on it. He approaches it warily and sniffs it for any food. Empty. His stomach growls in protest.

He sits back on his haunches, a small whimper escapes him. He's looking for some sort of guidance. If he couldn't see the threats how could he know who to trust?

Bill is watching his pet closely. The little creature is disoriented. Humans are such simple, fragile things; without such simple, fragile objects, they fall all to pieces!

He crosses his legs and props up his side with his fist. Fordsy is almost... _cute_ this way...sitting there like a confused little mutt, whining like that.

He takes an idle sip of Time Punch.

"So, you're awake now, Sixer?" He giggles. "You fell asleep fast! Out like a light!"

Ford startles at the voice, jerking his head upwards and realising Bill's sitting atop the enormous throne he'd been shackled to. The entire thing is an optical illusion. It hurts his eyes to even look at it.

He blinks. "Where… Where am I? And where th' hell are my glasses?" He slurs, rubbing his eyes with a groan. There seems to be a lot of activity down below.

Bill laughs. "Welcome to the throne room, Fordsy! Nice, isn't it?" he takes another sip of punch. "Well I guess you wouldn't know, exactly! you're pretty blind without them spectacles!"

Pyronica all but leaps into the room. "HELLOO PARTY!" She yells, waving at all her friends and dragging Hector and Kryptos into the fray.

Ford flinches at the raucous laughter that follows, cringing and curling into himself. It's far too loud for his taste. He wants to roar at them to shut up. But he can't do that… He casts Bill a wary look. Definitely not possible right now.

"What did you do with them?" Ford snaps, the chains rattle as moves toward the throne.

Bill laughs again. "What's it to yah?" He takes another drink. "You gotta start learning to trust people again, Fordsy! Can't go through life all suspicious like that!"

Ford scowls. "I can't trust _you_!"

Bill cackles. "You're gonna have to start, Sixer!~"

Ford sighs. "So you're not going to tell me where my glasses are?"

Bill chortles. "Where would be the fun in _that_ , IQ?"

Suddenly, there's a shriek from one of the demons that's loud enough to make the stained glass shudder. Judging from the pink blur, it has to be the fire demoness.

Ford growls and tries to cover his ears, clawing at the ground with frustration. He tucks his legs underneath his body, lying down with a heavy sigh. He could easily spring to action if he had to but right now, there didn't seem to be any reason to. Bill wasn't going to give him his glasses back. Not as if Ford wasn't used to bullies taking his glasses… Man, that feels like a lifetime ago…

 _And Stan always got them back for him, grinning crookedly at him and wearing his black eye like a badge of honour… The fool..._

Ford feels a heavy ache in his chest at the thought and buries his face in his hands.

 _Would he even see Stanley again?_

Bill summons a new martini glass and gives it a swirl. "Hey, lighten up, Sixer! We've still got another 1000 years or so of party to get through!"

Ford grunts, curling up into a tighter ball. "Go away…" He mutters. What would his brother even say if he saw him now? This pathetic scrap of what he was, fuelled by primal instinct and panic. He's almost glad that he may never see his family again… Or Fidds…

He lets out another shuddering sigh. What was his purpose now? Did Bill just want him as a party piece? Something to gawk at…? Was that his fate now?

BIll laughs. "oh no, you're not getting rid of me that easy, Fordsy! I mean we've been apart for _so long_ , I'm never letting you out of my sight!"

He notices some of Stanford's more self-pitying thoughts and smirks. "Well, you sure are a pretty conversation starter, even in this..." he motions to Ford's whole body. "Ahem, _state_ , but I've got a few other plans in mind for you, my dear little Sixer!" He takes another drink. "And I wouldn't worry about that little family of yours, or your pet hillbilly! They're getting along just fine without you!" he swirls his glass around again. "Well I mean, as well as they can, the dysfunctional lot they are! Still think about you sometimes, you know! Not exactly fondly either haha!"

Ford's heart jumps in his chest as he leaps to his feet.

"Wait… Wait you've… You've seen them?" He gasps, red rimmed eyes wide. "Are they alright? They're alive?" He questions frantically, hands clawing at the throne.

Bill laughs. "Well I guess the 'alive' thing isn't that stupid when you take the afterlife into consideration (spoiler alert, Fordsy! though it's not what you think, I can 87% guarantee!), but i'm gonna throw you a bone and say that at least some of the afore mentioned are, indeed, still kicking! Maybe even all of them, depending!" he chuckles. "'Alright' is kind of another story!"

" _Some_?" Ford croaks. "What do you mean some? Is someone _dying_? Is someone _dead?_ You have to tell me, Bill! Please!" He kicks over the dog bowl and it spins away, clattering. He slams his fist onto the throne.

Pyronica's ears prick up and she turns to look over at the commotion. She smirks. Guess Bill really has his hands full with this little creature. Adorable.

Keyhole is playing knuckles with Teeth, cackling when the living dentae creature is, again, too slow to bite off his fingers. "Missed again, root canal!"

"I told you not to call me that you _jerk_ " Teeth snaps, lunging at Keyhole, who dodges him easily, cackling.

"Gum rot."

"Shut up!"

"Tooth decay."

" _Fuck off_ "

8 ball laughs, chugging a barrel of time punch through an extremely long, twisted curly straw. "Bite off his arm, Teeth!"

" _His arm his arm_!" The Polyamorphous Shape screeches in their strange, mangled tongue.

Bill laughs at Ford's outburst. "Well I mean, all you mortal meat creatures are in the process of dying all the time, really! No need to work yourself into a tizzy over it!"

"Bill!" Ford roars. "Tell me what you know! Is it Fidds? Is it Stan?" He pounds his fists harder, now in a frantic panic. If Bill knows something about his friends or family he wants to know about it!

Bill chortles. "Really? do you think you've _earned_ that information?" he takes another sip of punch. "How about this, we could play for it, if you'd like! How does that sound?"

Pyronica sniggers at her friends' antics. "Yeah! Eat his arm!" She hollers. "Eat his arm, plaque mouth!" She gulps down her cup of punch.

Teeth snaps in Pyronica's direction, then goes after Keyhole with renewed fury. Keyhole sees the temperament change in his friend and lets out a shriek, running off in a different direction, still managing to laugh the whole time. Teeth pursues, gnashing his molars.

Pyronica giggles. "Eat him! Eat hiM!"

The rest of the henchmaniacs begin chanting "EAT HIM EAT HIM!" alongside Pyronica.

Pyronica laughs raucously. "KEEP AT IT, DENTURES!"

Ford pauses, ignoring the antics below and looking up at Bill. "Play?" He asks, his brows furrow. "Like… A game?"

He hasn't played a game of anything in years… Except for that one time he tried to play an alien creature for a bit of food…

Bill's eyelid dips a bit, giving something of a lazy, casual look to his visage. "Yeah," he says, leaning back, swirling away at his martini glass. "A game."

Ford folds his arms over his chest as best as he can with his wrists chained up. "You'll rig it." He growls. "I can't trust you. I'll never trust you." He takes a step back.

Bill laughs. "Wow, that really cuts me _deep_ , Sixer! Guess knowing that your family is safe and stuff isn't worth that risk then, huh?" He shrugs. "Fine by me! Family's kind of a stupid thing to care about, if you really think about it! Glad you're finally wising up, IQ!"

Teeth's legs are stubby and he's not really much of a runner anyway, but the same can be said about Keyhole. Unlike Keyhole, however, he is unreasonably agile, which Keyhole is unfortunately very aware of. He knows no one will help him, either, as they are finding the panicked chase much more amusing, and will no doubt find Teeth's attempt at consuming him equally entertaining. Still, he ducks underneath Xanthar, breathless. Losing one's head isn't a permanent problem here, but still an unpleasant one.

"HEY, THAT'S CHEATING! " Paci-Fire yells.

"YEAH, YOU DIRTY CHEATER!" Kryptos chimes in, throwing some Time Popcorn in Keyhole's direction.

"BE CAREFUL OF MY BABY!" Pyronica calls out, referring to Xanthar.

Ford twitches, momentarily distracted by the commotion below before turning back to Bill. He bunches his fists, glowering.

"No… I'll do it. I'll play your game." He snarls.

There's a bit of a smirk somewhere in Bill's expression when he laughs. "Excellent! I may think the whole familial bonds thing is pointless, but I do love a good game! Hrm, how about an old favorite?"

And with that, he summons a chess board.

Xanthar is confused by all that is occurring. He's not exactly tall enough for Keyhole to fit under him, and so finds the feeling of a crouched down, shaking and wheezing demon desperately wedged beneath him rather disconcerting, not to mention uncomfortable. He begins shifting around in an attempt to get Keyhole to move.

Keyhole realizes his cover is walking away and tries to roll back underneath to keep from Teeth's snapping jaws.

"GET OUT FROM UNDER THERE AND FACE ME, COWARD!" Teeth screeches, stomping and gnashing.

"BABY! IT'S OKAY BABY COME OVER HERE!" Pyronica calls over to Xanthar, patting her thighs.

"Come on! Come to Ronnie!"

Ford flinches back as the chessboard appears. His heart drops to his feet. Not Chess… He still didn't know how the hell to play…. He got the basics but he would much rather play a game of D and D and more D! Man he missed that game!

He sighs, dragging himself over the the chess board and sitting down next to it. There's nothing else he can do. He glares at Bill, bloodshot eyes narrowed into slits.

"This better not be a trap…" He mutters.

Bill chuckles. "Me? Entrap you?" he gives a pouting look. "I would _never_!"

Xanthar relaxes a little at Pyronica' voice and begins galloping towards her. Keyhole tries to keep hidden underneath him, but he just can't keep up with the much longer-legged demon.

Keyhole looks up in time to see Teeth lunge at him, yelps, and the chase begins yet again.

"THERE WE GO! COME HEREEE!" Pyronica calls out, opening her flaming arms. Xanthar galumphs over and leaps at her. "THEEEERE'S MY BABY!" She coos, allowing the creature to tackle her to the ground. She shrieks with laughter as a giant purple tongue flicks out and drags over her. "Did the guys scare you, baby? Don't worry! I won't let them frighten you!" She croons, stroking the gigantic creature as it slobbers all over her.

Ford's expression is grim, exhaustion hanging from his eyes in deep and heavy shadows. He sees no amusement in this situation. Bill was planning something. "Fine, Bill… Just get on with it." He sighs. "And tell your friends to pipe down…" He grumbles, lifting his bound wrists to rub his temples.

Xanthar nuzzles Pyronica, making happy noises that sound like geese being strangled. Hectorgon manages to dodge a glob of slobber, grumbling to himself and taking a drink of his punch.

Bill laughs. "Aw, they're just having a good time, Fordsy! Lighten up a little!" He turns his attention back to the chess board. "Speaking of which, not that chess with you isn't always... _entertaining_ , but i think we should up the stakes a little, don't you?"

Pyronica shrieks with delight, giving the huge beast a lick in return.

"YOU GONNA STAY HERE WITH ME? YES! THERES MY XANTHY! GOOD BOY!" She scruffs him enthusiastically, climbing on top of his gigantic head.

Xanthar continues purring. He stomps on the ground and turns three times before curling up into a furry ball...or rectangle, as it were.

Teeth, meanwhile, finally catches up with Keyhole. He opens his jaws wide and clamps down on Keyhole's legs. Keyhole shrieks and the rest of his friends make quite the commotion, most of it cheering.

Ford scowls. "Meaning what, exactly? I'm not wagering body parts if that's what you're thinking!"

Bill laughs. "Oh, no, nothing like _that_..." he takes a sip from his martini glass. "I was thinking, perhaps, we wager information? since I know you're just _dying_ to hear about how your precious little family is doing..." he smirks. "Of course...you don't know anything I don't, so...I suppose we're gonna just have to work something else out..." He shrugs. "Maybe a game of...chess truth or dare? except you get to ask for the truth (if such a thing can even be said to exist) if you win, and if I win, I get to dare you into doing something hilarious! Or maybe just shock you again, one or the other!" He giggles, taking another drink.

Ford sighs again. He knows there's no way out of this.


End file.
